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New chapter, new school

2011-04-18T00:00:00.001+08:00

I am shaken, but not broken. I have fallen but I can get up. If there is a coursefor everything in life.I have ran through it, learned it, lived it. I'm opening a new chapter in life. I'm in so much pain but there's more for me to gain, And I'm not as insane. I've got people that are there for me, some friends that care, other that aren't every really there. But they are still near. This chapter has smiles for now, hopefully no frowns in it later. But life's gotta have both, So bring it on!

Love is in the air ♥

2011-02-15T23:53:00.006+08:00

Celebrated our friendship which just so happens to fall on valentines on monday.

Town

2011-02-09T23:59:00.006+08:00

Pictures are uploaded at multiply girls. :>

In darkness & In Light

2011-02-06T00:50:00.001+08:00

" Everything we do in this life has a consequence of some sort,
Whether it's going for a walk or going to war.
The end result is uncertain, so we must be sure of our message.
We must be sure of our desire.
Stay true to your word, live as if you have no regrets,
And no matter the outcome, stand proud knowing your two hands
Did something that will be remembered for centuries to come. "

Goodbye.

2010-12-30T23:41:00.005+08:00

I don't think i'll have the time to update tomorrow or like just half an hour away to a new year. So i'll just probably make my last post of twenty-ten now. To sum up everything about 2010, its probably a neutral year for me. It wasn't really that bad or it wasn't really that good. I'll end this year just like any other year but just with a missing of something or someone. But that doesn't stop me form going on in life. 2010 has taught me a handful of things. This is gonna be long and emotional k.

I've learnt that no matter what happens, or how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will definitely be better tomorrow. Life will always give you a second chance. Everything will be okay, i'm sure. Think about what happened a year ago today. You probably can't even remember. Everything that seems important then, don't seem so important now. Things find a way of working themselves out. Whatever happens is what is supposed to happen. Maybe it won't work out, i can't promise you that it will. But there is no reason to believe you won't be okay. There is no reason to believe everything won't work out. If all you people think that you're having such a fucked up life, happily saying fuck my life every single second or minute or whatever, think again. There are people with real problems out there. I've never declared my life fucked up.

Honestly, i have to admit that the ones who are pulling me through all this heartache and pain, who are pulling me through life is none other than my favorite band The Maine. You may call me stupid, you may call fool to make my life depend on some group that doesn't even know my existence in this world but i basically don't give a fuck. They may have not give me the solutions to resolve my problems but they definitely gave me reasons to believe in myself and to go on in life. They gave me faith. The thought of them making music not just for teenagers in love, sex or fame but to add color in this black and white world, to make a difference in this world gives me hope, gives me more reason to believe that everything is gonna be okay. They showed me that every individual has a part to do in this world to make a difference in this world no matter what or how they're gonna do it. And i'm gonna do that. When you have only one thing left, no matter what it is, to help you through life, i'm sure you're gonna grab it and live with it. I'm thankful for The Maine.

But sad to say that the ones pulling me through life ain't my friends. When it comes to my friends, I do the saving. I am the shoulder to cry on. I listen. I am there no matter what. I ain't complaining or shit. I'm not saying that they didn't help or what. But when will ever realize that I need a hero too? But even before they'll realize, let's face, we've changed. We've all changed. Somewhere between school ending and school starting. We've all gone in our own directions. Hearts were broken and friendships were fucked over. New lovers started and new people came into our lives. We no longer hang-out with our circle of friends that we thought that was going to be there for us 'forever'. Face it, we all saw this coming. We no longer talk for hours about nothing at all. Some for the better and some for the worse. Soon everything and everyone changes. It's our choice to stay behind and watch the movies keep on playing. I admit i've definitely changed, some may see it for the worst while others see it for the better. But Personally, i think its both. The day the person i trusted most pushed me far away .. it killed me. It may not literally kill me, i felt like i was. The hurt .. the pain .. those things made me change, made me became into someone i myself didn't recognize. Those hurts and pain made me put up a strong front. I closed up to everyone. I had to do it myself. I've come to realize that i can't depend on other people to get what i want. I gotta gather up my nerve and throw myself out there and get what i desire. I gotta dream big and run after my goals cause i know no one is gonna do it for me. Sometimes I just feel really sad for no reason, I don’t even have a legit reason to. Some nights I spend just crying endlessly late into the night and by the morning I feel so drained and my eyes just hurt. I can’t help being sad, it just happens. Sometimes I just need someone to talk to, but it’s hard because I’m so ridiculously scared to open up to anyone in particular.

As time passed by, I came to a certain point in life where i just can’t be fucked; where every single shit life throws at me would become meaningless rather than making me cry. People might tell me that i have no feelings or are just putting on a brave face but the fact is, i've have grown up…. I've learnt to let things go just the way it is, with the flow. And accept things that were meant to be. Its like i just feel empty, lonely, insignificant. And it doesn't matter what i do. I still feel like crap. Sometimes i just feel like taking off, selling everything i own and running away to somewhere so distant, somewhere unknown. In other words, no matter what i do, no matter what i say, the pain is still there and i still feel the same. So i came to a point where i let go and be ignorant to my surroundings. I just simple don't give a fuck. I just got used to the pain. Because i believe that in time, the hurt will fade. I'll forget the lies. I'll forget the broken promises. I'll forget those nights where i cried myself to sleep. In time, i'll be brand new. In time, i'll be stronger. But for now, all i'll ever remember are the lies, broken promises and the nights i wish i'd forget. But i know i dont have to worry cause in time, everything will be fine, i'll be fine. Wait no, in time i'll be more than just fine.

On the other hand, there are memories thats worth to be kept in 2010. Like going to paramore concert. The chaos of making a decision to go to it. Ah fuck that, you know what 2010 is definitely a memory to keep. Why? Cause i met the greatest hoes in the universe. I would have never go through 2010 with laughters without them. Thank you. 2010 is also a great memory as i met a great friend from work. We should all be thankful for 2010. Some of you may not have a great memory about it, but you got through it right? 2010 may seem to be the worst year for you, trust me, this is just the beginning.

Happy new year lovelies, may god bless you!

I still have no resolution for 2011, whatever. k bye.

Birthday

2010-12-13T02:03:00.005+08:00

k i'm gonna make a short post since i'm tired and i need to wake up early in the morning. First thing of all, Happy birthday to a girlfriend of mine, Khairiah. May all your wishes comes true and May Allah bless you always. Sorry if we didn't make a really big plan out of it, hope you enjoy today or shall i say yesterday. Right, k. So this week was a tiring week, like daymnnn. Oh i just ended a phone call with Anu. She's going off to Perth for god knows how long. I don't really know what to update anymore .. So i'll just post up pictures for today.

k anyway, i saved this as a draft. k tah!

Babysit

2010-12-06T00:27:00.003+08:00

I'm bored as hell. I should be sleeping now but whatever, wanna download a few songs before hitting the sack. But apparently, the internet is being a bitch and is not loading the sites that i really wanna go right now. Like it loads facebook and sad to say blogger, haha!

Anyway, hows everyone weekends? I bet ya'll have a blast in whatever you guys did. Like my bitches went to Sentosa like without me .... Sad right? Haha! Just kidding, i couldn't make it cause i had to babysit. Ya, i babysit. Got a problem with that? I had to babysit due to a reason, its for me to know and ya to find out. Whatever, like ya'll care like that. Pshk. And yes, besides babysit i did became a part-time housewife. Potential already. Oh wait, not yet. I still can't cook. Failed!!!!! I cooked fried rice and it was uhm .. tasteless? Ya. Whut?! That ain't funny. So muah dad took dishes from my grandmama. It wasn't much but it was definitely better than in and out food. So yeah, part time housewife. I washed the dishes, did the laundry, sweep the floor, clean the house, bathe the baby which is a boy imagine that?!?!?!?!?!??! Pshk. Lucky me he didn't poo. Phewwwwwwwwww. Thats most probably it i guess? Whut you think that was nothing?! Why don't you try it? For two and half days straight from as early as 7am till as late as 11pm. Why don't you try?!?!?!?!??!

Whatever, i'm bored if you're smart enough to infer. Oh well, i have yet to update about my beloved The Maine. Oh oh oh oh, the download like finally is moving! Finally! Anywoo Christmas is coming. All i want for christmas is yoouuuuuuuuu! Hell no. I want uhm a new camera, dslr to be exact, cable, ipod touch accessories, macbook accessories, more moolah and more moolah. Olalallalalallaa ~ k i'm gonna hit the sack now. Nah just kidding gonna download a few more songs for my lonely trip tomorrow. I'm already getting the chills thinking bout tomorrow. k bye.

Starbucks

2010-12-02T00:06:00.006+08:00

Today i went for an interview which went .. Uhm for me to know and for you to find out! I'm mysterious like that ya know. :B So, i went to Orchard with khairiah. No wait wait, we actually walked from Plaza Singapura to Far East Shopping Centre. Don't ask why, it was pureeellyyyy personal reasons. Nah, lets just forget about that. After interview we went to City Square Mall for breakfast+lunch and went to the new Shopping Centre at Serangoon Central. It was damn chaos, its like two times bigger than compasspoint but ten times the crowd. Damn noisy, couldn't take it. Oh oh, we had two yoghurt today! We're like yoghurt freak. :B I'm gonna bring Tellehansen to the one at Plaza Singapure cause its toppings are free. \m/

Anyway! Yesterday as in on tuesday, i had ze most amazing day with my girlfriends. We went to watch Harry Potter which was the second time for me, not that i mind. :3 But Nurrul didn't joined us during the movie cause she have no interest in it. I know right, its like " WHUT?! HOW CAN YOU NOT BE INTERESTED IN HARRY POTTER?!?". Yeah, Nurrul just weird that way. Heheheheheheh. But anyway, she joined us again after a gazillion years of waiting for her, lol. Then we hanged out at Starbucks at compasspoint. We catch up with each other, good ol' times. k here are the pictures!

Pardon us for our sloppiness, it was like almost 11 and we had a long day. Lets do this again girls! Oh ya, if you guys want all the pictures as usual its at mutiply.

Did i mention that i met the bitches too today? And did i mention that i got punk'd by them? Yez i did. Pshk.

John Cornelius O'callaghan V

2010-11-30T00:52:00.007+08:00

LOL.

As stated above, His name is John Cornelius O'callaghan also known as John ohh. He is the lead singer of my favourite band, The Maine. He used to be a shy person and sings with his back to the crowd. He used to apologies for his awkward skinny body. But as time grows, he gains the confidence and started to sing without a shirt. Not that everyone mind, but sometimes i prefer the shy and awkward John. I still love John no matter how he looks, he just have a great personality and a great singer. He sings for the world, not just for fame, sex and money. When i say i love John, it doesn't mean that i wanna marry him and such, not that kind of love ya know. Just ... You'll get the hang of it when you find your idol or whatever. How do i know all of know this? He said it.

And yes, this is the special person i said i'm going to post about not the previous post. John and The maine as a whole has made a difference in my life even though they ceased to know my existence. Here are few wise words from John.

" If you truly believe in something and are passionate enough and you work hard and you weed out all the people that talk about doing alot of things and they don't do anything they just sit there. I want you to make a conscious effort from this point on if you say you're gonna do something, do it, make it happen."

"Don't forget how lucky we are to be alive. Take advantage of every day. There might not be a tomorrow."

"Spread the word, We're an army of love"

"We know there's going to bumps in the road, but what would life be without those? It wouldn't be fun"

"We all have insecurities and imperfections, but it's those who understands and recognize their 'flaws' that exude the most confidence."

"Life. Its a constant struggle of Good days and Bad days. They just happen. They all just happen."

"Live life as if to have no regrets"

"You can't force creativity, you'll hate yourself for doing so. It all comes in waves, like life. But the key is being true to yourself. As long as you accomplish that then the creativity will flow."

Now you guys know my secret through life. I'll put up another post about the reason why i love The Maine to death. Till then :>

Reminiscence

2010-11-30T00:09:00.004+08:00

Lying awake, I stared out the window at the millions of stars that covered the sky. ‘Like tiny jewels’ I heard your voice echo in the back of my mind and a single tear began to roll down my cheek. I let out a sigh, before roughly wiping the tear away and rolling over, showing my back to the stars. I tried my hardest to block them out, but even with my eyes closed it seemed they wanted to stay with me. They were both a blessing and a curse, every time I looked at them I was reminded of you. I often wonder if you think of me at all, while you live your life, or if I was just a distant memory, a blurry figure curled up in the corner of your mind. Did the stars even remind you? Or were you not cursed with that burden? To be reminded of what we had every time you see a sparkle high up in the black world.

The first thing I do when I wake up is to check my phone. Just in case. I knew it was never going to be there, but I could always wish. A girl can hope once in a while. Today was like all the other days, not good morning text. No text telling me to have a good day. No text telling me you missed me.

The normal morning routine took place. Bathroom. Mirror. See I’ve been crying in my sleep. Try to ignore how rubbish I look. Shower. Clothes. Try once again to ignore how rubbish I look. Kitchen. Breakfast. Bathroom. Teeth. Door. Admittedly it is a boring routine, but it is one I have fallen into since you left. My days and weeks are pretty much the same. I’ve become a shell of my former self. No more drawing. No more art. No more rushing to come home to go online. No more addictions to computer. I want to say I miss those things and feelings but I really don’t. The pain of you going away over powers the need for entertainment and hobbies.

I probably sound so pathetic don’t I? I can't help it. I was wrong obviously, my predictions. Just here one day and gone the next. The thing is the last day I talked you, the last day we had together, before you left and broke my heart you didn’t act any different. You even said Goodnight, sweetdreams, talk to ya tomorrow. I think that was what hurt the most. The fact you gave the impression everything was alright before you just slipped away. Not getting the morning text was weird but I didn’t think anything of it, but going on online and seeing you online at the same time but nothing happened, hurt more than anything. Did I not deserve more?

I try to get over you; I know you’re over me. If I wasn’t worth a goodbye, you can’t have loved me. That what I keep telling myself whenever I find myself thinking of you. You don’t and never did love me.

Airport

2010-11-29T02:16:00.004+08:00

Pardon me for my previous post, just needed to make something clear. Well well well, so yesterday or earlier? Whatever it is, i didn't came back for another post, hehe. :B But! If you've read properly i said, "It depends if i found anything to do at such bore time". So i did find something to do in the end, which is movie time! I watched the show easy A. It was a not-so-bad-but-not-so-good kinda show. Amanda Bynes and Cam Gigandet were in it. But they're acting in weird characters ... like not their usual acting .. like weird weird .. like watching a duck trying to be chicken .. Right, so anyway yeah. Go check that move out! If yeah want ..

So last thursday if i'm not wrong, went to the airport to chill and search for jobs. So here are a few pictures ..

Its 2.46am now, im gonna hit the sack .. i think so. Will update about a special someone at night. Till then! :3

Honesty

2010-11-29T01:31:00.002+08:00

Lets be honest, lets all be honest. I didn't change, i grew up. I came to a point in life where i don't give a fuck anymore. I've learnt to let things go just the way it is, with the flow. And accept things that were meant to be. Quoted from John, i don't give a fuck so hard. I learnt to depend on myself.

Lets just get to the point. When i first met you, without a doubt i knew that i could trust you. And then after some time you somehow just decided to walk out of my life. At first, yes, it affected me so bad. It hurt me badly. But i fought for you. The you change your mind. And i thought that possibly i did something wrong or i wasn't enough. So i mended my ways, tried again to be a perfect friend. Apparently, you decided to walk out of my life for the second time. This was when it affected it me real bad. I cried, yes i did, in school too. That was when the hurt seeped into me so bad that i decided to close up to you. But later on, you decided to apologize and walk in back into my life again. And then i thought, unsure of which to decide. So i decided to give a second chance to you. Everybody deserves a second chance, that is why there are two 11:11 in one day.

So i tried again to give you my trust, i tried so hard. If you believe that i did not try, and i'm just lying right here, now. Then honey, i'm sorry cause i really did. If i didn't try, i would have tell you the story of my pathetic life to you, breaking down in front of you. Why would someone even bother to unworthy story of their life and breaking down in public? I tried to put you second to Tellehansen .. but i just couldn't. I tried for a year or so .. I couldn't really open up again. But all those things i told you are real. So thats it, i've done my part to explain why. Its up to believe me or not after what i've done to you. Being with you was a bliss, thank you. Good luck ahead.

You can't expect things to be the same and pick up from where we left after you threaten to leave me twice. I'm not that kind of person. ~~I've trust issues~~ and you know that from the very beginning. Sorry.

Last day

2010-11-28T00:30:00.006+08:00

This are the due pictures on the last day of school. Some were during lessons while some was at the end of the day before we went to our separate ways. Pearlyn and Cheryl went to town, while the rest went swimming. :>

A few pictures are really bright, it makes us sparkle. \m/

I stayed at home today and i bet i'm not going anywhere later on with my family. I hate weekends now. Its like vice versa, when schooling i love weekend the best but during the holidays its the opposite. Come to think about it, i'm missing my bitches. Awww ..

I may update later, maybe not. It depends if i found anything to do at such bore time. Tah.

Starbucks.

2010-11-26T23:50:00.011+08:00

Today i went for interview or was it even an interview? Right, and i had seoul garden for breakfast, lunch and dinner. :>And we head on to starbucks to take a chill pill.

The drive back home was funny, Nana's dad kept telling silly jokes. The breaking down the wall was the best. :>

k i'll be back to upload due photos so you'll see update more often here. :>

Swimming

2010-11-26T03:34:00.008+08:00

his was pretty much on our last day of school. No, not our last day as in the end of examinations but the least time we had proper lessons as a whole class before we were send off to our own self study. We practically decided to go swimming at the very last moment since we didn't have anywhere to go to 'celebrate'. Ya i know it was wrong of us to celebrate when the exams have yet to start but whatever. What's life without fun?

Its almost 4am, update more later! :>

Update

2010-11-26T00:50:00.004+08:00

If you're smart to infer, i've probably let my hands off this blog. But to think about, i ain't gonna let my place of memories of my teenage years off just like that. So i'll just revive it back. Is revive even the right word? Right whatever. So its almost the end of november, december coming right around the corner. School's over, the big 'O's over, graduation night over, secondary school life over and holidays started. The examinations were manageable but can't put hopes just yet. Don't want our hopes to come crashing down right?

Its been what 2 weeks of holidays? I have yet to find a suitable job for myself. Got an interview but have yet to receive a response from them. If it was up to my choice, i don't even feel like sleeping. I just feel like sleeping this whole holiday. But sad to say, i need moolah. Hmm first week of holiday were spent finding the puurrrfeccttttt dress for graduation night. 3 days wasted just finding the right one, in the end it wasn't even worth it. But whats done is done. I also managed to catch Harry potter movie. The movie was definitely much more better than the previous one. It was totally worth it. I'm gonna catch it again with girlfriends and my mother probably next week.

I don't really know what to say here, so i'm just gonna upload picture which were due long time ago. I'll upload it and tell what happened. :>

Last day

2010-10-08T02:12:00.004+08:00

Its the last day of school, lets just take a moment to do this ..

The wish i've been waiting for have eventually come true, Dayumn right i have to party about this. But then again, thinking about it, school has a taken 3/4 of life, it has become a part of me even though i won't admit it. So then again, no matter how bad i wanna get out of this school, I still wanna stay badly. I'm not ready to grow up. I'm not ready for the world. Mostly, i'm definitely not ready to part ways with my friends and my oh so lovely classmates. But this day will come sooner or later. So we shall try make our last day a memorable one. So lets dance!

Baby, don't stop now.

2010-09-20T01:17:00.005+08:00

k Bye.

05/06

2010-08-05T02:38:00.001+08:00

The pain is there to remind me that I’m still alive.

Inspiration II

2010-07-12T01:57:00.003+08:00

“When we were five, they asked us what we wanted to be when we grew up. Our things were answers like astronaut, president, or in my case, princess… When we were ten, they asked us again. We answered - rock star, cowboy, or in my case, gold medalist… But now that we’ve grown up, they want a more serious answer. Well, how about this… Who the hell knows? This isn’t a time to make hard and fast decisions. This is the time to make mistakes. Take the wrong train and get stuck somewhere chill. Fall in love - a lot. Major in philosophy because there’s no way to make a career out of that. Change your mind. Then change it again because nothing is permanent. So make as many mistakes as you can. That way, someday, when they ask again what we want to be… We won’t have to guess. We’ll know."

— Jessica's(Anna kendrick) Valedictory Speech on Eclipse.

Inspiration I

2010-07-12T01:45:00.002+08:00

" Just because the road ahead is long, is no reason to slow down. Just because there is much work to be done, is no reason to get discouraged. It is a reason to get started, to grow, to find new ways, to reach within yourself and discover strength, commitment, determination, discipline.

The road ahead is long and difficult, and filled with opportunity at every turn. Start what needs starting. Finish what needs finishing. Get on the road. Stay on the road. Get on with the work.

Right now you’re at the beginning of the journey. What a great place to be! Just imagine all the things you’ll learn, all the people you’ll meet, all the experiences you’ll have. Be thankful that the road is long and challenging, because that is where you’ll find the best that life has to offer. "

— Ralph Marston

World cup final

2010-07-11T23:41:00.007+08:00

Hey, a quick update. School this week was quite manageable, i think. I've manage to set out my priorities. Although i don't own a study plan, i'll think it should be fine? I hope it does. I can't set out a study plan, i'll always have ways not to follow it. Be it distractions or other stuff. Deadlines are coming nearer ... thinking about it makes me shit in my pants. Nah, just kidding. But it is pretty scary.

I've taken my 'O' level oral last friday. It was at the same place as N level at greendale. I don't think i did well for it. I'm sure i've done pretty badly for my conversation. Sigh, thinking about it makes me feel disappointed all over again. The topic was on 'Permainan Tradisional'. It was exactly the same question for my N level. Yes, some of you may think i have a advantage to it but sadly you're wrong. I just don't know what overcome me at that moment. Yeah, whatever ..

Nothing much to say about, since today is the finals for the world cup. I'll just update about my beloved germany. This are the pictures where they lost to spain ..

My sunshine, lahm. And Nurrul boyfriend, nando. LOL

Mom and dad of the team.

Germany always accept defeat, so kind.

It saddens me alot to see my poor boys cried. I cannot handle seeing them like that. I almost cried. Emotional, yeah. I love germany alot. You boys did well, i'm still proud.

But they got 3rd place, as usual. ;>

Well done boys, well done

So after weeks of word cup madness, it's finally coming to and end. I wish spain and netherland supporters good luck! And after watching world, i've grew a liking to a few more players besides phillip lahm!

Mesut Ozil!

Elected for Man of the match

Nominated for Golden ball Trophy

Marko Marin!

Thomas Muller,

One of the top scorer for this year world cup.

Elected for Man of the match.

Bastian Schweinsteiger!

Elected for Man of the match

Nominated for Golden ball Trophy

Lionel Messi

Elected for Man of the match

Nominated for Golden ball Trophy

Miroslav Klose
One goal away from winning The Golden Boot Award,

joining Ronaldo's World Cup record of 15.

But the best of the best is,

Phillip lahm!

Germany's Captain 2010.

Most of them are from germany, duh. And no, i do not like them just because they're good looking or cute. That just come as a bonus. They play well in the matches. Here's a skill from ozil.

Pretty skill right!?!? Or shall i say damn skill right!!! Haha! Okay, sorry about tons of pictures. FIFA world only comes once every four year, something to be damn excited about. Hence the truck loads of pictures, i guess this is the last post on football/world cup. I'll see you boys in the next four year. See ya, gonna miss ya..

It's the 5th.

2010-07-05T23:27:00.004+08:00

You know what I love the most about us? I love how comfortable we’re with each other. I love how we can endlessly crack on each other but never take the teasing to heart. I love how when I walk away from you when we’re fighting, you try to stay mad but always end up running after me. I love you and everything about you - how we can stay up all night just talking about nothing. I love how you can talk to me and no matter my mood is, you somehow always seem to make me laugh. I love how you need me as much as I need you, and most of all, I love how you love me.

Every girl has that one boy, that they’ll never get over. That one guy who makes you laugh all the time. The one who gives you butterflies just when someone mentions his name. That one who remembers all the stupid things you say and reminds you about it months from now. The one who has his name written all over your heart. The one whom you compare to everyone. The one you never get sick of talking or hearing about. The one you cry over and over about. The one everyone thinks you can do better than. The one you ask why her and not me. The one when you first saw him you knew you loved him. The one that in some way ends up not being yours.

Baby, that's all I need. Someone like you burning through me. It's never fair the way that we meet, and the way you disappear.

Take care.

First week

2010-07-04T23:17:00.002+08:00

First week of semester two was really ... rushing, uncontrollable, messed up. It was a wreck. The first day of school is where everyone prays, or maybe just me that things won't get more stressed up than it already is. But then bam! Reminders after reminders about how many days left to the big day. How many weeks left till our date line for our coursework. Don't be surprised if you see me or anyone else running around just to catch up on time. This is the time where everyone starts to panic. I, myself wasn't surprise to see myself finishing up a meal in less than 10 minutes. Time, it never fails to amaze me.

The first few days of the week was really horrendous. Unpleasant words and groans were heard after hearing that we had to hand in our incomplete holiday assignments by ___. It was really bad that it me aware of how much time i have left. Come to think about it, it's actually quite scary. I've grown accustomed to the constant turning in late. Oh well, with the strength i have left, i hope i'll manage through all of this. Wish me luck aye!

Due to all this madness, i've started listening to slow songs, like i don't know? Songs from Ivory, Ryan adams, augustana and more. But i've yet to download it in my ipod, time doesn't allow me to do it. But the songs are still under the genre of rock, duh. The songs are relaxing to the mind, very serene. I got nothing more to say, so i'm gonna update about soccer, heh :>

As ya'll know, germany won after the match against argentina. I supported both countries. But more to germany. Here are some pictures ...

Well done germans! Oh yeah, ballack was there at the match too. ;>

And..

Don't worry sunshine, you played well. I'm proud. :>

Next match! Shit just got serious ..

I'm sorry nurrul to say this but spain, you're going down!

lol, okay bye

Holidays over.

2010-06-28T02:05:00.003+08:00

The good news is, germany won

The bad news is, school starts tomorrow or shall i say later ..

Oh well, there's argentina match later.

See ya when i see ya ...

The emptiness will haunt you

2010-06-23T01:03:00.004+08:00

The night sky feels as though it has never been darker, with the fleeting hope of vengeance compelling me I attempt to recollect myself from and resume my chase. But what is it that I am chasing? Am I really chasing anything at all? Or am I simply drowning myself in revenge to avoid the horrifying truth, I've lost the only thing that made me feel truly alive. Are my hands responsible? Are his? Who was he? Who was the mad man that stood before me tonight?I swear I've seen his face before. I know I've seen his face before.

I wake in the night to find there's no one there but me

2010-06-15T02:57:00.004+08:00

Loneliness is the human condition. Cultivate it. The way it tunnels into you allows your soul room to grow. Never expect to outgrow loneliness. Never hope to find people who will understand you, someone to fill that space. And intelligent, sensitive person is the exception, the very great exception. If you expect to find people who will understand you, you will grow murderous with disappointment. The best you’ll ever do is to understand yourself, know what it is that you want

— White Oleander

Wanna tell you how I feel inside, but every time I go and try mutterin-mutter-mutter-en-ing Stutt-ing-stutter-in-stutter-en-ing

2010-06-13T23:58:00.005+08:00

Oh hello there handsome. I feel very i-don't-know-how-to-say-it-but-i-do-feel-something. Get it? If you don't, whatever. Whatever is a woman's way of saying fuck you. Nah, I'm just kidding. Suprised i'm doing an update other than those emotional updates? Well, i just have the feeling to blog. Yeah, be shock.

Life has been pretty dull. Well i'm sorry i don't have a sugar spice and everything nice life! No need to get all cranky. Okay, like any other students (i think), first two weeks of holidays is probably spent stoning at home. A few extra lessons. A lil' of homework and self revision here and there. Then its back to stoning. Well i don't know about you guys but thats all me! Plus a little All time low moments, eating fruit salad with hershey chocolate, sleeping, tumblr, telly. That pretty much sums up my first two weeks of Holiday. I need to stop this, i know.

FIFA world cup has started. Who are you guys rooting for? I'm going Germany! As always. World cup has always makes wonders. Like yesterday, The match for England Vs. USA, my whole family actually woke up for it! Including my mum. My mum. In case you don't know, my mum usually won't wake up at freaking 0230am just to watch telly! Oh well, in the end england dissapoint us. Oh don't get this wrong, neither of us are rooting for england, we just like 'em.

Anyways, to be honest, watching world cup without my sister ain't the same..

She's alllll the way in paradise. She left on friday and will be coming back on monday afternoon! You don't know how much i envy her. *&^%$#@! Soon babeh, soon. Work hard. On the other hand, nothing to say. Just kidding .. So my first baby broke, externally. I was so heartbroken.

Go ahead laugh at me, i'm gonna sit back and laugh when karma punches you in the face bitch! It wasn't even my fault that my baby was broken! It's all because of this lil gangsta, my bro. lol. It's okay baby, i still love you. I sound retard, hmph.

But! On the bright side, i went to the IT fair today. Oh hell, it was daymn crowded. But my mum and I still manage to squeeze our way through. Saw alot of great deals, from computers, printers, handphones, cameras, telly. Not bad ehy. But i only went there to find another one to replace my ex. Hahaha! What the hell, sound retarded. After much persuading from me, i got myself a new baby sucka! It was alllllllllll worth it, although it wasn't pro. _|_ I also bought Paramore Final riot in blue ray dvd, Bonus!

Oh well, im gonna go now cause ..

1) I feel like taking a short bathe.

2) Germany Vs. Australia match in an hour time.

Tuhs! Oh wait, Lets try this

http://heartcrumbs.tumblr.com/ask

And its all good

I admit I'm still watching the days go by, being alone is starting to take its toll, I'm cold and it's getting old

2010-06-05T02:05:00.006+08:00

From all the stumbling and falling,

I've learnt to push people away.

I've learnt to find content in this emptiness.

I've learnt to control the emotion of laughter.

I've learnt to let go the emotion of anger.

I've learnt that nothing else matter.

But there are Some days I'm still fighting to walk towards the light

EVERYTHING I ASK FOR

2010-05-17T00:45:00.004+08:00

John: How do we explain our music to somebody who hasn’t listened to us? Ummmm, well you know that feeling you get like right when school’s about to finish? Uhhh, like that… Kennedy: That last five minutes… John:that, we’re like that last five minutes and then schools out. So we’re like…Jared: Like a happiness explosion? [Laughter from everyone] John:We’re like the summer.

I love them, alot. <3

Because i know i'm gonna fall and you'll be waiting for it all

2010-05-12T00:29:00.009+08:00

A mother is the truest friend we have, when trials heavy and sudden fall upon us; when adversity takes the place of prosperity; when friends desert us; when trouble thickens around us, still will she cling to us, and endeavor by her kind precepts and counsels to dissipate the clouds of darkness, and cause peace to return to our hearts.

Happy birthday mummy, and happy mothers day.

I love you (;

What? I know it's kinda late to wish my mum a mother's day and her birthday. Her birthday falls on the 11th, which was only a few hours ago. But really, is it wrong? No i don't think so. Why must we wait for 9th may to tell our mum that we love her? Why must we wait till it's that day to tell her how we appreciate her? Shouldn't we tell her every day that we love her and appreciate her? So, for me everyday is mothers day. But then again, no matter how expensive things we bought for her, did for her, we can never give back what she gave us. She gave us life. I love you mother! Muarrrrrks. :>

I haven't been updating this blog of mine. Oh well, what can i do? School's getting tougher everyday. At the same time being a bitch too. I don't even have time to be on the computer besides the weekends. So I'm using my Ipod touch for any internet access. I'm not going to complain on how school has taken up 3/4 of my life and all those shits that school been givin' me. This is a part of life, everyone has to go to school at some point of time and experience the same thing I'm going through. Some may have it even worst. Some just have their time or luck that didn't have to go through this. But what i know is that, school makes me feel like this ..

I've been studying everyday after school at Burger king. Be it alone or with my friends. I have a few reasons why i studied there instead of going home. 1) Weather is being a bitch nowadays, and i have no air-con in my house. 2) I'll probably fall asleep when i reach home from school. So yeah. Mid year examinations has already started a week ago, to specific on wednesday. Or is it on tuesday? Bleah, it's last week. I have already taken both my language papers. All i know is that, I'm gonna flunk both of it. Today, or rather yesterday, i sat for my Chemistry and Social studies paper. Both was er? But it certainly wasn't beyond average . Oh well, i gotta do my best!

There's no paper for tomorrow, therefore i have no school! Hehe.

Besides school, there's really nothing much happened in my life. What can i say .. I wonder why I'm serious when I'm blogging. You better not be fool by this, i'm really crazy in reality. Like really. Sometimes i wonder why friends be friends with me? YOU GUYS NOT SHY MEH I DO CRAZY STUFF IN PUBLIC?!?! It's like I'm an embarrassment to them. I'm sorry if i've made you guys look like a fool. I can't help myself, My armpit is my heart and soul ..

Oh yeah, i've made a 'makeover' for my room. Well not really, just my part of the bed. A few weeks ago, i went for a short trip to ikea. I actually didn't want to tag along, but i was like, "Fuck this! I'm gonna go out!". So ya, i went with my lovely mother, and my *&^%$#@! sister. Nah just kidding, my oh-so-okay sister. Then ah, i saw this lantern lights! :O At first my mother didn't wanna buy it for me, she said need electricity, then the bill will go booomzxz. So i went sulking and find other stuff. Asked her for frame, she said can. I told her the disadvantages of buying a frame. Then at the end of the speech, i show my cute charms. Heh! Then she allowed my buy the lights. Thennnnnnn, i found out the lights was solar powered. Wah, bonus!!!! So happy. Smiling all the way. For a short trip to ikea, the total amount was almost 200 bucks. *&^%$#@! But it's okay, if its to make my room pretty. :P I've also hanged pictures at the side of my bed. So when i wake up, i will feel motivated, and won't give up. :> Here some pictures, since Nana has been bugging me about it ..

My ceiling got this! :>

Waking up a looking at this!

This pictures i took when my room light still on la, thats why very bright.

Then since i'm so inspired by nice room, i found other few rooms that so boomzxz..

I want this. So F. much

This also not bad, i like the stars. :O

Although this may seem simple, but i like the fact

of waking up and immediately facing the scene outside, not bad.

This may not be a bed, but it would be nice

if i could sit here and read.

So F. Awesome!

The next are not rooms, but houses/places i find so :O

Tree house, i want.

This is so beautiful! Peaceful and calming. :>

This too.

This is the most *&^%$#@!. So ..

So yeah, thats most probably all about rooms and houses. One day man.. LOL. Okay, so since i've been watching a few youtube videos. I'll post some up here. You guys may be wondering, " What the hell man, still haven't end ah the post". Well, i'm not gonna have time to update so might as well give a damn bloody long one here right ..

You love her, but she loves himAnd he loves somebody else ..
And so it goes, Till the day you die.This thing they call love is gonna make you cry..LOVE STINKS.
Hehe, i find very funny yet at the same time nice. LOL.
Next, i watched this guy since he was 13 or something.How he grew already, so handsome. I'll put the first video in order, from the youngest.

He's the left one, grey jacket.
See the changes? So wow. I like his voice. Very heart throbbing, LOL. Okay, i shall end now. Not bad, a very long post. So the next post probably be next year. Haha! Just kidding, i'll try to update. Oh ya, sorry if your comp lags because of all the pictures and videos and animations. Just got to have it. Okay, See ya!

Hehe, Goodbye!

FML.

2010-04-27T00:45:00.003+08:00

I'll break every bone in your face if you make my life more fucking messed up.

Maybe we're trying, trying too hard, maybe we're torn apart.

2010-04-24T22:56:00.004+08:00

To be honest, I’m so confused. I don’t know what I want in life, I don’t even know what I want right now. All I know is that I’m hurting so much inside that it’s eating me, and one day, there won’t be anymore of me left. It's fucking killing me.

Theres only so many times you can allow someone to let you down before you cant handle the disappointment anymore. When things change, people change, ad it doesn’t mean you forget the past, it simply means you try to move on and treasure the memories. Letting go doesn’t mean giving up, it means accepting the things that werent meant to be. Theres a point in life when you get tired of chasing everyone, trying to fix everything, but its not giving up. You’ve got to do what’s right for you even if it hurts. I’ve come to realize that in the end, Everyones turned out to be the person they’d swore they’d never be.

Funny thing is that while I was writing this and the mail, I’ve been holding back tears. I’m not sure if the tears are welling up because I’m leaving and I might not be able to see you again or .. Well, Here's the truth, I know that you’re asking yourself about a million questions, why I'm not fighting for you? Why ain't i throwing tantrum? Why won't i cuss you up and down after the thing you've done? And mostly, why did i let you go even though i knew i was going to be a fucking wreck and how its slowly gonna kill me. I was disappointed to say the least and I felt my heart bend on its side and slowly break into a million pieces. It was really over and you was never coming back. But I'm certain that time won’t fade, it’ll always be there by your side and with time, you’ll be able to heal and you’ll be able to forget and start over and be happy again. I know that without me, nothing can you hold you back and that’s one of the reasons why I left. I felt like I was holding you back and I didn’t want to so maybe if I was out of sight, out of your mind, out of your way, maybe you’ll be able to do things you’ve never had a chance to do while you were with me.

Maybe sooner or later fate will bring us together again. I’m up to that but for now, I guess this is it.

You gave strength to get me through the day, you gave me hope, you believe in me, You made me fall for you, I never said thank you for that.

I miss you, I thought just in case you’d hear me.

Are there certain people in our lives whom we’re never meant to get over?

It's been getting better, i think..

2010-04-23T00:02:00.005+08:00

" I know it’s over. And it never really began. But in my heart, it was so real.

Everybody says love hurts, but thats not true. lonliness hurts, rejection hurts, losing someone hurts, envy hurts, everyone gets these things confused with love, but in reality, love is the only thing in this world that covers up all pain & makes someone feel wonderful again. Love is the only thing in this world, that does not hurt. "

Just because everything’s different doesn’t mean anything’s changed

2010-04-22T23:44:00.005+08:00

" Any teen who can wake up in the morning and be willing to face another painful, agonizing day out there in that dark, cold, ugly world is mentally powerful. The one with so many shattered hearts and broken dreams, just searching relentlessly for something, someone to hold on to and believe in. No one in the world is as strong as a teen trying to persevere in this media-centered culture we’re living in. Always being pressured to act like someone else, look like someone else, talk like someone else…be someone else. Listening to rumours and lies said about them, crying themselves to sleep at night, being made fun of for looks and interests, and as a result: suicides, shootings, depression, and sometimes leading up to even terrorism. So think about the things you say and do before you pursue them, because the actions you perform today might have an effect on the world tomorrow. "

Mundane

2010-04-18T23:23:00.010+08:00

Life have never been so mundane. To tell ya the truth, after writing that first sentence i have no idea what to update about. It actually took me almost five minutes to even think where to begin. Oh no, don't get me wrong, what i meant was i have nowhere to begin cause there's really nothing much thats been happening. Fine yeah there's some stuff that happened but i wouldn't really wanna directly tell it here right. That will be awful.

School has taken up 3/4 of my life. I spend 5 days in school. Then i'll coop myself up in my room at night. Doing what? Homework and self revision. Sometimes i don't even eat dinner. Scratch that, most of the time. That is why i'm always hungry in school lol. During the weekends, i'll be too lazy to go out. So i just spend my day watching tv, computer, sleep and more sleep. So if you wanna see a definition of a no life person, just look at me! Ha ha. You have no idea how much i just wanna get over it with Os. And i envy those people who have move on from secondary school life. Easier said, those who have graduate from secondary. Ughhhhhh, fuck this. *pulls hair*

But then again! Look on the bright side, i'm not the only one going through this. And thank god, i have my friends with me. They bring sunshine to my oh so dull life. Ha ha! Like on friday, i hang out with my girlfriends after school. We played truth or dare. Sounds boring aye? But it wasn't. We did some stuff to spice the game up. Overall it was a fabulous game! Oh ya, today i had the urge to buy so many food cause i feel like eating all of them. But i was too lazy to drag my ass out so i just slept lol. Tomorrow is starts a new week of school ...

Another thing that brings sunshine to my life ..

Hehe, bands. These are one of the few there's wayyyyyyyyy more other bands.

Another thing is .. tumblr. :>

HAHAHAH! See what i mean, i can pretty pictures and funny pictures. I can update random stuff about my feelings or just seriously random. I can update 1735264583726723 times in 15 minutes. So awez! I hearts tumblr!

Another thing is .. okay promise this is the last. Youtube!

Peanut .. Peanut butter .. and jelly! Peanut .. Peanut butter .. and jelly! Hahahahahaha! Random videos can make me smile. :>

Okay. Bye byee byee *imitates hunter* lol.

Oh sorry about the random spam.. i have nothing to update! Tuhs.

But then nothing can makes me smile as much as..

I miss you.

Just want you to know

2010-04-12T00:13:00.001+08:00

Wrapped around your finger, always on my mind
The days would blend 'cause we stayed up all night
Yeah, you and I were everything, everything to me

I just want you to know that I've been fighting to let you go
Some days I make it through and then there's nights that never end
I wish that I could believe that there's a day you'll come back to me
But still I have to say I would do it all again
Just want you to know

All the doors are closing I'm tryin' to move ahead
And deep inside I wish it's me instead
My dreams are empty from the day, the day you slipped away

That since I lost you, I lost myself
No I can't fake it, there's no one else

I'm sorry, bear with me for all this cheesy stuff.
I'm trying, really.

Unspoken words from me to you

2010-04-09T23:43:00.005+08:00

If i ever push you away, i don't really mean to. When i tell you i don't want to talk about it i do, i am just looking for the right words. Give me a minute, and if i can tell you; i will. I try to be struggling mix of real and perfect at the same time. At the moment, i am working on the ratio. When i get really quite at sometimes it is because i have too many things to tell you all at once. And i don't know what to say and where to begin first. I get immaturely jealous of anyone who gets to see you on a daily basis. I miss you really easily but i also like that we can be apart and we are both okay. Space is good, too. I love the way we love some of the same things. I love how we love entirely different things. My head is complicated pile of thoughts, and fears, and cravings and dreams, and this tangled up nostalgia for the past and, somehow the future. I am flawed and i am human and i am broken and i am trying. And i am one person and i am two hands.

Via tumblr

Holidays

2010-03-21T23:12:00.009+08:00

I love my new tee

11:11

School starts in a few hours time. My assignments has yet to be completed. But here i am, blogging and tumblring pushing aside things that has a higher priority than this. I so need to be more on tasked and manage my time well. This bullshit has to stop tomorrow. Heh. :>

Well, my holidays has ended. I have spent my holidays not wisely, but i have spent it almost fully by going out almost everyday. It's called holidays what .. I went to town twice and went to swimming. I only stayed at home on wednesday and weekends. Actually wednesday was planning to meet Haziq to get some stuff, but didn't in the end. So i slept most of the day. What, i love sleeping.

Eyka's 17th Birthday

Happy belated birthday! ;]

Dinner @ Pizza hut.

Kampong style.

Snail, Bangang, Stepgergeous bahalol.

Nurrul couldn't join us as she was sick. She's in love with a bull/horse, that's why. Then we walked down to esplanade. Took more photos there. On the way, played some jokes/pranks. Farhanah being the mastermind. She brainwash me to do it also. >:( I'm so innocent, ask me do such stuff. Hmph! :>

Actually, i realised we are seated according to retarded rank.
Obviously the most retard is the far left.
Which is me.
HAHAHAHAHHA.

See what i mean ..

What the hell is wrong farhanah?!

More pictures, go to my multiply --->

On friday, went to swimming with alerion. It's been a while! Oh pool! Hah! Swam a few laps, choked on water a few times, almost drown. I shall go visit you again! Some time soon. Had our dinner/lunch @ the park. Bought food from 7-11. Talked to fishes and terrapin. Saw something weird there, waited for it to be on land. But it cheated our feelings. <:( Walked around compasspoint for a while.

My first Ben & Jerry's! <3

My new beanie, so awezxz

Bought it when i went to town with alerion.

That's some of the pictures during holidays. I also bought ..

Yummy! It's finishing soon!

Gonna buy it again. :>

Okay, gonna reply my email and sleep. (Hope so). Tuhs

I fought, I loved, I lost. Tearless

2010-03-21T00:13:00.003+08:00

It made me sick to think about
Everything you put me through and how you left without
(Saying goodbye) And if it's really over now
Then you can walk away and it would be the last time

This is the end
Of you and me
And everything I used to be
Back then it meant something
But you're living a lie, you just can't hide from me

You had me hanging on your last word
And now I'm feeling a little less than trusting
You had me wishing we were something
But left me here with a whole lot of nothing now

#1

2010-03-20T01:30:00.002+08:00

Shotgun loaded with excuses.

I said so didn't i. But you deny it.

So now who's right? Me.

If I Only Had The Heart

2010-03-15T23:11:00.005+08:00

11:11

If I could gather up the nerve, i'd put my feelings into words. And if I weren't so young, or stupid, or restless. I might be able to just soon forget this, just forget this

Interview today was scary.
Victoria school was awesome
Got handsome boy
Got stuck outside the house
Tutor my brother
Short trip to hougang mall
Bought another top
Finished one comprehension

Have to wake early again tomorrow, to tutor my brother before going out.

So kind. :>

Sunday

2010-03-14T23:11:00.002+08:00

11:11.

I went out with my family today. We went to the usual place. We will never get sick of Parkway Parade. I have to admit, i still enjoy going there. I guess it's those family moments where no matter where you go you will still have fun. One thing i enjoyed about today is i kinda went shopping with mother. Hehe. This is what i love going out with family, you do not need to pay for a single thing, even food! No matter how many times you eat! Such awesomezxz time. I bought 2 tops, 1 bottom, 1 make up and a thing. For me to know, for you to find out! Tops are just normal t-shirts from cotton on. It was on sale anyway. Don't really call it a bottom? Not sure. I ate hokkien mee at hawker center for breakfast, which is sooo __. I only ate like a spoonful of it. Then i ate Korean food for dinner with a little of steak and fish and chips. Awww, i love food. But i do worry if i get fat.

Right.

Friday marks the ending of term one! And i have a pile of homworks to be done.

I love holidays though! :>

I need to wake up at 7 or earlier tomorrow.

Wish me luck :>

Tuhs.

When everything seems to fall apart, and you need someone to be there.

Who's there for you?

Family. <3

Paramore \m/

2010-03-08T01:20:00.009+08:00

PARAMORE OWNS.

7TH MARCH, A NIGHT I WONT FUCKING FORGET.

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH,

AWESOME NIGHTTTTTT.

PARAMORE \m/

Paramore live in singapore, 7th march 2010. <3

Weekends

2010-02-28T23:50:00.005+08:00

Weekends is coming to an end. Weekends, two days of break was always never enough for me. Easier said, holiday was always never enough for me, no matter how long the holidays are. Wouldn't it be cool if the holidays are forever?!?! Meh, too bad forever doesn't exist shit.

Surprised to see me updating? I wouldn't want to leave my blog dying for so long right. What's the point of having a blog like that, might as well just delete. I don't update cause i'm lazy. I'm telling you straight to the point, no beating around the bushes. Plus i have no interest in blog anymore. Tell me why did i have a blog in the first place? Ugh, whatever. A few minutes till weekends are officially over, and here i am blogging, searching for stories , youtube and such. When my homeworks is nowhere near done. Right.

So spent my weekends with my family and friends. Aww, look how i divide time for each of them. Nyehahaha. My friends and i took a trip to the beach. Intentionally, it was to celebrate Farhanah's 17th birthday. So we enjoyed ourselves by the beach swimming, talking, taking pictures and playing game. And of course, not forgetting we engulfed ourselves with our truck full of food. In other words, we bought too many food. Seriously, too many. The reason is because we're greedy! Not our fault, we were really really hungry at that point of time. For your info, we boughtLong john silver each for ourselves, 2 packets of sushis, 2 large packet of chips, 12 packets of drinks, Farhanah's nuggets and hotdogs. Alot eh? But we finish it all up in the end. Still some leftovers for the chips. Call us fat? Too bad, we just love food that much. You guys are the suckas for rejecting all this food. Haha! That's how we celebrated Farhanah's 17th. Hope ya enjoy it.

It's one minute to 12, so i would like to wish Happy birthday to my kentot Farhanah for the very last time. Heh, Hope you like everything we did to you. I'm glad to be in your life for the past 3 years, now continuing to 4 years. It could've been 4 years, continuing to 5, but too bad we just had to fight. Very childish eh kita. Hope it will continue till the end! Goodluck in everything you do the future! Love ya, don't hesitate to punch my numbers anything if you ever need me. Always remember how first met. Very cute. Especially me. Heh.

Pictures at my multiply.

Continue, today i spent my day with family. We went out for a little while. Went to Suntec city and parkway parade for dinner as usual. I wanted to walk around parkway but they wanted to head home cause the weather was really hot. In the end, i bought shades at suntec only. Heh. Showed my parents the new handphone i want, but they keep rolling their eyes at me. Which means, wait till their head to be fully covered in white hair then they'll buy for me. Sad case. Oh ya, i saw Paramore: The final riot, blue ray dvd @ 39.90. Wanted to get it, but my dad was there, so can't. Im gonna make my house go boomzxzxz when i buy it. So that's about it. My life is bored.

4 more days to Alice in wonderland.

5 more days to friday.

7 more days to paramore.

1 week and 6 more days to the 13 of march

2 more weeks to March holidays.

I have to go out with my mum some time soon. Tuhs.

Fix

2010-02-01T00:18:00.001+08:00

I want everyone to stop making a competition about how messed up they are. It’s not cool to have problems. It doesn’t make you better or more interesting than the next person. You shouldn’t be ashamed to admit your issues, but you should want to fix them, not show them

#2

2010-01-21T01:06:00.004+08:00

On the bright side. There's a point in life when you get tired of chasing everyone and trying to fix everything, but it's not giving up. It's realizing that you don't need certain people and their bloody crap and bullshits in your life

Meeting

2010-01-21T00:31:00.003+08:00

If I could explain love in one word, it would have to be trust.  Trust that he doesn’t cheat on you, trust that he doesn’t lie to  you, trust that he really likes you, trust that he will always be  there for you, trust that he can go to a party and not get high  or drunk, trust that you don’t have to worry about him breaking  up with you the second you wake up, trust that he will stick up  for you, trust that he will never fall in love with another girl,  trust that he won’t just get sick of you, and trust that he  wants you like you want him.

But we'll still have our doubts. It's funny how when someone say they love you, you can't really feel it, but when they say they don't love you anymore, you can feel every ounce of what was drain out of your entire being.

It feels like someone kicked you in the stomach, feels like your heart stopped beating, feels like that dream you know the one when you are falling and you want so desperately to wake up before you hit the ground but its all out of your control, you cant trust  anything anymore, no one is who they say they are, your life is changed forever,  and the only thing to come out of the whole ugly experience is no one will be able to break your heart like that again. 

I have never been strong enough to stay. People say that walking away is the hardest thing to do, but it isn’t. staying, even when you know it will break your heart, is the hardest thing. Staying right where you are, waiting for your entire world to be ripped into pieces is much harder than walking away and starting a new one. You never know how strong you are, until being strong is the only choice you have.

But i know about taking chances, and how it’s really just about overcoming your fears. Because the truth is, every time you take a big risk in your life, no matter how it ends up, you’re always glad you took it. I hope i will be.

One more reason I should never have met you is just another reason I could never forget you. Endings are never easy.

Too much

2010-01-18T15:30:00.000+08:00

Hiya people. Let's make a proper post. I'm currently now having lunch with my girls at pizza hut. Updating using my touchy. That's what I low about my cupcakes, it helps me update my tumblr or blog anywhere as long as I have internet connection. Anyway, pardon for my previous post. Meh, whatever. Waiting for my orders to come. Farhanah said it's a miracle for me to update this blog. Haiya! I told you guys I update my tumble more now. It's more fun. I usually update my tumblr in between my study break. Anyway, my order came already. They started eating without me. Such friends .. Haha! Nah, I need get this updating over it.

So, obviously my first week of 2010 is spent in school. Duh. Three words for school, dull, boring and tiring. That's school, what do you expect? Everyday is filled with homeworks, sometimes I don't even have the time to have my self revision. I already made my study plans with alerion. Made my study plan of my own. Hope it bloody works. I have yet to do situational analysis for my dnt. Which is due on Wednesday. With the new principal, some of the rules changed. There's no asp for term 1. Term 2 have yet to be confirm wether there's asp or not. How am i gonna pass my Os? Eventhough, we have tuition and stuff. Teachers notes and guiding are still definitely the best. And I have yet to start my tuition. Die lor

Enough about school. By the first two weeks of 2010, I already know how it's gonna end. Well, i hope my instincts are wrong. When people say, that some of us drifted way. In. fact, we didn't. People change. Thats the reason why. And maybe we should just stop putting hope on things we know won't happen. I'm not talking about myself, I'm talking in general. When things change, you can't put things back the way it were. Stop trying. Cause it will never be the same. Stop thinking about the past, cause you can't change. Think about the future where we still have a chance to change it.

Im so random. Bye.

Roll

2010-01-18T01:33:00.002+08:00

Painful words waiting to be spoken, dieing hearts waiting to be broken. What comes between? The love, the hate that's yet to be seen? We're never getting out alone. Where does the light come from? When will our pain grow strong? Why does this have to be, Another way of saying "I'm sorry"? We've been here way too long. Caught up in what is wrong. This time around, the light won't turn on.

Wide awake, my mistake so predictable. You were fake, I was great nothing personal.I'm walking, who's laughing now? I'm gonna break your little heart. Watch you take the fall, laughing all the way.

We're all part of the same, sick little games.

2010

2010-01-02T00:35:00.003+08:00

I spend my first day of 2010 with family yet again.

Oh, lovely.

2009

2010-01-01T23:56:00.005+08:00

i would be lying if i said i posted this really on the last day of 2009. I didn't, i just wrote as a draft half way and saved it. If you think the year has been such a exciting year and filled with happiness and such, you're bloody wrong. I won't type what i really think of 2009, cause i already wrote it at tumblr. I wont waste time writing it again, and wouldn't think twice of copying it and paste it here. Just a brief one will do. 2009 definitely hands down was not one of my favourite year. Yeah it has it's up and downs whatever shit people usually say. It was more of a downhill for me. For 16 years of living, i have never felt so shitty before. I always woke up with the first thought, "fuck life". School was more of a bitch to me. And it kept me wondering, why does school even exist. It's stupid yeah, but at that point of time, life was stupid. But on the brighter side, i have got to say, from 2009 i've learned the most. Not learning as in studying, education such. Learning in terms of life. That is what i'm truly grate for 2009.

I spent the last days of 2009 with my family. On the 30th, we catch a night movie. Which ends past midnight. We had supper just to fill our stomaches even though it tastes like ___. I tasted the most awesome mee soto for lunch. Then on the 31st, i went around some places alone as i needed to get some stuff. I planned on tumblring on that night. But i went along with my sister. So in the end, i countdown with my sister and friends. Although it was awkward, it was fun. Cause they're crazy. That's it.

For 2009, even though you were a ruthless bitch to me, thank you.

Life isn't fair, deal the fuck with it.

One of the things i've learned

James owen sullivan

2009-12-29T22:20:00.003+08:00

Goodbye,

May you rest in peace.

Most awesome drummer,

better than chris. (haha!)

The band will never be the same without you.

Fuck day.

Cupcake

2009-12-19T13:52:00.004+08:00

Hey people, it's been awhile aye. I'm updating using my iPod touch currently. Weird, but I'm becoming more a lazy ass to switch on my laptop. So yeah. It's 1.54pm and yet I have not eaten my breakfast and lunch yet. Probably after I'm done with this post. Nothing eventful happened in the past few weeks except for khairiah's birthday which was on the 13th december. And the doomsday, nyehaha, nah the results day which was on the 18th december which was yesterday. Most of you should know my results already, for those who don't, too bad cause im going to write what happened on khairiah's birthday first. Hehe. Suspense is a thrill.

On 13th december, which falls on a Sunday, we celebrated our awesome girlfriend's birthday. Everything went well, except for some last minute things that we need to buy, problems in pitching the tent, dress flying all over and food not prepared when birthday girl arrive. The plan was to surprise khairiah at changi beach where we will be having a barbeque. At first khairiah thought everyone couldn't make it except for me. So I planned with khairiah to go have a feast at hei sushi at downtown east then we head down to changi for awhile. Then we will go to vivo rooftop. The plan was okay. But then .... This birthday girl so stubborn don't want go changi beach, when she said that I was like &$!@^*!. Nyehaha, I was like what the hell?!?!

I persuaded her, she don't want. So I had to tell a lie to her that I intended to meet my friend there to get something. Yalah, of course she sad the moment I said that. But it was like emergency back up lie. Haha. So yeah, on the day itself I met at farhanah's house first. Waited for fyfy, but she was late. So we headed down to ntuc first to get some last minute stuff. Then went back to farhanah's house, fyfy came. Waited for fyfy to put on contact lens which was like sooooooooo long. 2 hours later than we left farhanah's house. It was nearly 1. I'm meeting khairiah at 2. What the hell, I know.

Walked to eyka's house, with charcoal that weigh like a ton. Then instead of going changi by bus, we cabbed down there. Reached there already 1.30. I had to help them pitched up the tent, which was so annoying cause the wind was like bloody woaaahhhh. After so many times we had the tent pitched up. It was already 2 plus. Though of calling a cab, but 89 came. Boarded the bus alone, sad case right. Haha! Luckily khairiah was late, so I wasn't thaaat late. Like 5 minutes or less late.

The rest of the event you can get information at khairiah's blog. Nyehahahaha. Well the plan was a success, thank god. Hope you like the surprise khairiah, hehe. So sweet of us right. Okay next, dooms day, results day, whatever shit. The weird thing was, I didn't feel any nervous wreck before the results or even during the results, which was kinda of weird .. Cause I remembered the day I took PSLE results, and I was nervous shit. That I almost wet my pants, no kidding. Nyehahahaha. So the night before the results or in the early morning of the results day, conferrence with the girls. Or should I say with the psychos.. Hahaha!! So instead of babbling crap and shit about what will happen about results, I told them ghost stories! Hehe.

Slept at 5am, then met them at nearly 1 at compasspoint. Yalah, they meeting at 11 so early. Might as well accompany my mum to market first. Awwww, such a good daughter. Heeh. They munch some stuff at compasspoint first. Huh huh huh aaahhh. Nyehahahaha. Forward la, so slow. All my girls got promoted to sec 5, congratulations! And to nurrul who got 7 points, well done. And to Sean who got top, bloody pro hor. Haha! Yalah, I got promoted also. Sigghhh.

Another year of bloody stress .. Goodybye.

Cupcake

2009-12-08T21:46:00.004+08:00

Time to update, starting from last weekend, which was last sunday, on the 29 november. Can you believe it, it's already december! What the hell, 2 months passed. I did nothing besides, sleeping, eating and facing the computer. Call me a no life and i have no objections cause i agree! Rigghhttt.. Though i dont get tired of sleeping. You wanna why? Cause when we sleep, the problems goes away, yay! But too bad, we still need to wake up, ugh, i hate reality. Do you?

Anyway, last sunday i went out to hang out with some kompang people and my primary mates. Talk, walk, talk, laugh, grin, giggle, Nyehahaha. We went to pasir ris beach to hang out and about. And guess who i saw?!?! Yeap, you're right, i saw peterpan. Ha ha! Nah, just kidding, i wish i could though. I saw my two lovely people, fyfy and eyka! Thats what i call luck! Ha ha! No seriously, the last time i saw them was our hari raya outing, which was like two months ago. He he, cause they're busy working their butts off. Unlike me, sleepin' my butt off.

So yeah, met them when they were alighting the bus, then i was like :O, then they were like :OO.

Then we hug, happily ever after. Ha ha!! They went to interview. I continued hanging out. Then go to know, they were going jamming and some going east coast. Then i didn't feel like following due to the time, so decided to hang out with fyfy and eyka for awhile! Wooohhh!! Catch awhile, ate, laugh here and there. Awesome!

Then the following wednesday, went out with mudmonster. After a gazillion years have passed. Haha, miss her very the muchy. Of course, since it was 3rd december, everyone wanted to catch the new moon movie. So we went to watch it. And it was like, ._. It was any boomz like the book, or how people said so. There were some annoying girls in the theatre. Bleah, go die! Luckily my nachos didn't end up in your face bitch! Ha ha! We caught the 4pm show and golden village grandmax. Wasn't so grand, prefer grand cathay. Nyehahaha. We went to plaza singapura, orchard and vivo. Loaaaaads of things to talk about. Thanks for being there for me and understanding me! Love ya, like how i love peterpan. Ha ha!

I think thats about it, i didn't went out on the weekends since there were some stuff .. This week i won't be going much, except for sunday, since somebody birthday coming .. Wakkekeke. Oh yeah, yesterday was worst though, some monster came scolding me. Yalah, my fault right .. Sorry. (:

Lastly, i would like to say a condolence message to farhanah. He he.

Dear farhanah,

I am sorry to hear about your grandmother's death. And I know that her passing will not only leave a void in you and your family lives, but in the hearts of all those who knew her. I cannot imagine the pain to lose a grandmother, cause my time has yet to arrive. But i'm sure, the pain has made a huge impact on you.

But think of it as a better place for her to be right now, no worries, no fears. I pray to Allah to give you courage, strength and support. Be strong okay? If there is anything that i can do to help you in anyway, please do not hesitate to call me at anytime. Love ya! (like how i love peterpan) He he

Pictures.

Falling apart

2009-12-04T00:10:00.002+08:00

Sparks

2009-11-28T02:43:00.006+08:00

If you're smart to infer, i'm very lazy to update my blog. When i mean very lazy, i mean it. It's been like months since i even type the blogger site. But i ain't gonna be a irresponsible and abandoned my blog, when it's been there for me when i wanna pour out my feelings. I'm talking as if my blog is a human being, ha ha, whatever it is, i love you bloggie!

Life's been okay so far. Like okay, okay, get it? Nothing special or eventful things happen. What can i say, it's holiday, nothing happens during the holiday. Start from where i last post. On the following saturday, my primary school have a mini reunion. Easier said, we decided to meet up. Not much people turn up, but hey, its better than nothing. So we went to RFA gig, it was definitely a blast, more than a blast, but i cant seem to find the right word to say. I definitely had fun, it was a new experience.

Then the following week, uh, i forgot what happen. I think we went airport, or i went to watch movie. Uh, okay, after looking others blog/facebook. I went to airport first! Ha ha. You guys would be thinking, airport only, there's no fun there. But i had fun there! Of course, it's more like a awesome hang out. Nyehaha. Me, khairiah and farhanah decided to go airport, cause we feel like eating popeye again. After filling up our stomachs with chicken, we walked around. We went to every terminal. But the most fun was terminal 2. We became rockstars that day. Ha ha!

Okay, next outing was the movie. Yeap, i went out with my primary mates again. We watched the show 2012. Eh, i have no comments on the show. But the effects was totally awesome, it made my jaw dropped. Haha! No, seriously. If it were to happen .. Okay, nevermind. Enjoyed myself yet again, Hussein can remember every detail that happen during old days. We even argued about sports day. Amusing. We played arcade, and challenge girls vs boys. When there's only 2 girls .. But it was a good game!

Okay, then next outing which was next week, on tuesday if im not wrong, met khairiah up. Not outing, just hanging out at compasspoint. Since didn't make it to go swimming, then farhanah was tired, nurrul was sick. So, yeah, we watched bride wars online. Funny show, but yet touching and sweet. The next day, also plan was destroyed. Ha ha! Met up with primary mates again, the usual people, we went lepaking. It was very itchy yet interesting. Ha ha!

Following week, this week, i went swimming! Like finally. Swam here and there, did a few laps. Then when swimming, we were discussing where to eat for lunch. Thought of eating seoul garden. So we were like zoom down to woodlands, but the offer for students was off. So, we decided to eat at pastamania. The weird thing is, woodlands pastamania was better than hougang. Thats for my opinion. Then we hang out at macdonalds near the library, crap alot. In the end, we were all tired. Ha ha.

Okay, that should be most of it. Boring right? Like many weeks have passed and nothing eventful happened, and i only went a few times. Which to my parents is alot. Parents and the nagging, scary. Anyway, that's my life. Boring yeah. Happy yeah. A lil bit of all, but it's life, have its ups and downs. If i were to complain about life, no one will be listening. Cause i'll be whining too much. I have my own problems and i like to handle it on my own. Afraid that i can't take it? Come on, i've been living for 16 years, i'm still standing ain't i? I have bear it for 16 shitty year, why can't i bear it a little more?

What i'm trying to say is, Life is full of beauty. Notice it. Notice the bumble bee, the small child, and the smiling faces. Smell the rain, and feel the wind. Live your life to the fullest potential, and fight for your dreams. We cannot change our past. We can not change the fact that people act in a certain way. We can not change the inevitable. That is why there's no point looking back in the past and regret. Look forward, cause we may still change it.

Anyway, i'm more active in tumblr and heart it, rather than blog. I think blog sucks. Nyehaha.

But i still not gonna delete it. Ilovetumblrandheartit! Oh, something happened today, something that made my heart has sparks. HA HA! But, it's true. Ta ta. Pictures.

Old days

2009-11-06T22:27:00.005+08:00

Hi. That sounds too boring. Okay, Whassup Coolios?! Heh. Neglected my blog too much, but now i'm gonna be honest! Ha ha, i was too lazy to update this blog of mine. Ehy, can't blame me, if you have been sitting around in the house for almost a month now, you'll be as lazy as me! But i know there's people who are more lazy like, for example, Stickpoop. Ha ha, that's my imaginary friend. He he, Nah kidding. But i can be lying, so its for me to know, for you to find out!

Alright, back to the post. So, where did i go for this week? I went to the toilet, kitchen, mother's room, my room, imh, corridor. Ha ha! Kidding, i'm crapping shit here. Right, so last saturday my and my girls, not all six, went to Sentosa. Do you know how crowded and hot it was ?! Of course you don't, but imagine with all the tourist around and scorching sun. Fooh. And in the evening it rained, damn heavily i might add. But we still had a blast. Or should i say we had a boomz time! Ha ha. Pictures at the end of the post. Damn unglam pictures. Want to know exact details of the trip, go to cempedak's blog, farhanah. ( Psst farhanah, see how good i am, i advertised your blog here) Heh.

Next! Sunday, stayed at home. Facebook, read, youtube, sleep, eat, tv. Normal routine. Monday, i think i followed my mum to ang mo kio. Yeah, should be. Tuesday, slack around at compass point with khairiah. Bollywood eh? Ha ha! Wednesday, normal being at home routine. Thursday! Went out looking for a job, a few bad news came whipping at me. Ugh, and i'm still worried about it till now. Find job, got disappointed, tiring, feel like fainting. So yeah, but still got to spend time with bestfriend, so should be glad. Heh!

Friday, which is today, tadah! Morning, accompanied mother somewhere. Can't tell, won't tell. Ha ha! Familiar much?! Then got text from ribena. Agreed. So went to meet my long lost best friend! And syahirah too. Chatted like there's no tomorrow. Like seriously. ha ha. Then met up with Alfira awhile, awww, best friends united. Hah! Saw hisham, talk awhile. Ate dinner. Overall great day! Let's meet up more. And hope tomorrow we'll have luck by our side yeah. (;

Okay, so i'm done. Taaaaaa.

Pictures.

P/S, i'm damn freaking nervous

Couple

2009-11-01T22:27:00.000+08:00

Cute.

Gotta love them,

Tata.

Boomz

2009-10-28T21:56:00.005+08:00

Hey people. Long time no blog eh? Ha ha. Seriously, i didn't do anything much during the holiday. So, it's kinda boring if i were to post the same thing everyday. So, i'll only post if there were outings or something happen or about my feelings.

Okay, for the past few week, or is it only been a week? Whatever. Nothing much happened, besides i went to ghost town and bridging program. Bridging program was awful, sucky and bleah. First day of the program, was basically talk by teachers and free period. Boring. Friday, i skipped cause i went to ghost town! He he. Will go more into that later. Monday, went to sengkang CC for enrichment program, no comments on that. We crack our brains to do a puzzle. Ha ha. Fun i should say. Then after that, i decided to opt out from it. Right.

About ghost town, really, i went to ghost town. Heh. Nah, i went to night safari, went there to see the halloween thingy. Which was awesome! Though i didn't really scream much, unlike farhanah .. Ha ha, kidding. But really, farhanah screamed alot till she got chase by clowns. Hilarious. I only screamed during the neverland especially during the wolf thingy. You suck red eye ghost! Ha ha.

And some parts of the bridge of never return. Then after that, took pictures. Then hang around at the coffee shop while waiting for farhanah's father. We went to grab a bite at jalan kayu for our supper. Then i went to sleep over at farhanah bird nest. She showed me some of friends. Then when we were turning in ... she talked alot, till i scream. Her fault! Ha ha.

Thats the exciting stuff that happened, besides that i sit around at home watching transformers 2 everyday with the dts on loudly. Ya know, when they boom! your house/things/floor vibrate. Shiok! Ha ha. Okay, right, having a hard time planning to go out together with my girls. Haiya.

Okay, bye!

PS, I'm trying every game at facebook.

PSPS, im addicted to the fishy game!

Crush

2009-10-20T13:07:00.003+08:00

How long will this crush last?

A month? A year?

My heart starts beating fast,

Every time you're near.

Is this just a crush?

Or is this something more?

My cheeks just seem to flush,

Even though I am ignored.

Is this finally love?

Or just a silly crush?

Whenever you're around I am tongue-tied,

And always in a rush.

Secret admiration, secret love,

Is this just the effect of your secret touch?

With your naivete away I am shoved,

You don't even know that you're hurting me so much

I must be dreaming

2009-10-20T01:43:00.003+08:00

" She thinks I'm crazy.

Judging by the faces that she's making.

And I think she's pretty.

But pretty's just part of the things she does that amaze me.

And she calls me sweetheart.

I love it when she wakes me when it's still dark.

And she watches the sun.

But she's the only one I have my eyes on. "

Wouldn't it be nice if a guy sings that to you?

Touche.

Empty

2009-10-16T23:27:00.001+08:00

I feel so empty.

Crapstruck

2009-10-15T01:33:00.004+08:00

You guys must be wondering, where the hell is this girl? N levels over and she's still not reviving her blog. There are a few reasons, A) I'm lazy, sue me. B) I'm addicted to anime again. C) There's so much show to watch on the net! D) I'm just plain lazy. Hah, are my reasons satisfying enough? Yes, no, whatever. Right, let's just get this over with..

So, monday marks the day the end for my Nightmare. In other words, the N level has come to an end. Yay! I'm going to be free, for now. Which should i write about first, what happen before N level, or during or after.. Lets start before. Well, before the major exams, everything seems blur and fast. Open close, open close, open close, eat study, study eat, and bamzx! The next day is N level. Yeap it was that fast. I think i studied last minute.. or i didn't? Don't know, but feels like it though. Oh, right, before the N levels, my birthday passed, Hari raya passed. Nothing great actually. Besides the fact that i got awesome birthday present from mother and some kachingzx during hari raya. Beside that, all were blahhhhhhhhh. What? Told you my life was blahhhh, can't blame me right.

During the N levels, of course im going to say how hard the papers were right. Everything was okay, manageable except for POA and geography. Kill me. Hah, but i did my very best and i still want to live though i'm not really loving life now, so can't kill me. Anyway, Dnt students was the last group of people to sit for the exams, life ain't fair, deal with it. Anyway, karma's a bitch. So beware. Muhahahahaaa. Want to hear how i spend my last day of the major exams?! I went for bungee jumping! My heart fell out..

Nah, i was kidding. But bungee jumping sounds great though. Lets try it someday. So, back to the topic, spend my day with 2 bitches and Jellyfish and cempedak. Nah, they weren't really bitches, they where whores. Ha ha! No really, they aren't. They were danial and sean! My best crappy buddies! So, we went for a great meal @ swensens. Cempedak didn't join though, she busy shopping for bonia bag. Ya' know, the bonia bag, for all the makciks.. Bad taste eh? Ha ha!

The four of us ate pasta and dessert. We actually argued over ice cream, sean's fault. Fickle minded! But in the end, we all ate till we look like santa clause. It was awesome! Let's do it again. Then next, i went to shop @ daiso with jellyfish. I wanted to buy a box to bury all my books there and throw it in the sea. Farewell! Ha ha, nah, just to keep my place nice and tidy. But really, i wish i could do that to my books..

Jellyfish bought the same thing to. She copycat ya know, then she sting me everytime. Hahahahhaha! Crazy. I'm just entertaining myself since its 2am. If you put me + jellyfish @ daiso = 1 hour shopping! Farhanah agree with this. Farhanah as in cempedak. Long story. So after that decided to go over cempedak bird nest. Hah! Took unglam photos, and laugh our ass off at our own picture, hilarious. Watched some funny videos on youtube, double hilarious. Then we played guitar hero. I totally kick ass! Cempedak and jellyfish were sore losers. Ha ha! Nah, kidding, we all kick ass! We are the kick-ass-band! Wooh. Truth be told.. we suck. Ha ha. Shhhh. Went home @ 10. Cab-ed home, jellyfish idea. She said, "If you dont take cab with me, i'll sting you!". Nah kidding. Anyway i owe you 2.60. Fyi, Jellyfish is anu. Why i call her jellyfish? Long story. You better not tell anyone jellyfish or i'll tail kick you! Muhahaha! Beware.

Continue..Yesterday, 4NA went jalan raya-ing. Lazy to elaborate. But first house was mine! Wooh! They came when i wasn't ready, really, i wasn't wearing the kain. What the hell. Wore shorts and the top only. So fast come..Zzzzz. Next house was hafiz, eyka, farhanah, Cikgu ezyanti, khairiah, Amirah. Had fun, enjoyed myself. I eventually look like a pregnant lady when i came home. I ate tons of food! Oh ya, we also destroyed a lift. It went "Out of oder", because we were all tooo fat! Haha, really, it was scary yet funny. Then there also the possessed session @ khairiah house, the bride and groom joke thingy, oh we also tried to do jump shots, but fail. All their fault la, don't know how to jump. Ha ha, nah, it was actually mine, bad photographer. Muahahhaa, sue me.

That was most of it. Today i spend my time at home. Awesome, heaven. I realise my post is long.. Ending here, Bye!

Nothing

2009-09-13T20:19:00.004+08:00

Well hello there. It's been a while. What? It's been a month since i was gone? Or maybe more than that. Let's just update the things/stuff thats happening in my life currently. My life now revolves around books. Sound pathetic? I know. I don't have a choice anyway, the big N is not too far away. I need to sacrifice my time. I can go retard or whatever after it. I can even act like a duck and annoy my mum for the whole day! Ha ha! Just one more month ..

Anywoo, this was supposed to be september holiday. But too bad for me, i took my first three N level papers. Which was ______. Insert whatever word there, but it was definitely not fantastic nor satisfying. It was horrible but not too horrible. Get it? Somewhere in between. First paper was mother tongue. No comments about that, did my best. But considering me, my "did my best" for malay would probably end up with grade 4. Which is bad. Then i also took my social studies, which was i oh-so-screwed-it. Shucks. Have to work hard for my geography. Pray hard that my hard work on social studies will pay off. Next was english. Ugh, paper 2 was hard. Thinking about it makes me wanna pee. Hah! Overall, three papers were ...

Next! What should i talk about, right, life. What do you want to know about my lovely life. Sigh, Life's just .. life. Life is either a daring adventure or nothing. Fine, i'm currently in the middle, where i'm trying my best to look at the bright side of life, thinking positive and all those shit. So that i won't fall into the hole of despair. Get it? No matter how hard i tried being positive, sadness seeps through me, making it impossible. Sigh. The glorious day, is a just a week ahead. Hari raya. The day where everyone look forward to, to dress up, look all pretty and handsome, forgiving each other, eating all the sweets and many more. Honestly, i'm not looking forward to that day, but at the same time i want it to arrive fast so i could get over it. My feelings are so neutral about it. There are many reasons about it, but of course, i can't tell you why.

I reaaalllllyyyyyyyyyy can't wait for N level to be over. I have so many things to do, or rather so many thing i want to do, so many shows to watch, so many stories to read. But! Most importantly, i can sleep all the time! I'll end here, bye! duckie loves you! Hah!

Happy Birthday

2009-08-16T22:38:00.008+08:00

Hey. Firstly, i would like to wish Happy 16 birthday to Nurrul Shafeeqah Ameera, semoga anda panjang umur dah murah rezeki. May all your wishes come true, and all the best for N levels this year! Hope we pass together ya! Ha ha. Oh, zakiah also wished you the same thing. Heh.

Next, guess what? Im using macbook pro! Ha ha, its my sister's one, she just bought it on saturday. Damn awesome. Lets pray she wont be selfish towards me. Heh. Anyway, i would like to apologise for the past two posts, which is damn emotional. Hey, what are blogs for right? Its also a place for you to vent your anger and let some feeling out. But this blog is only half, not even half, like a quarter of what i really feel. I don't really let it out fully here, this blog is public! I have a wordpress and space. Which no one will knowwww. Muahahahaa.

Truthfully, actually im damn pissed of right now. Trying to control it. Im pissed of with this someone. Hmph! Whatever, life has it ups and downs. Right? But i think i keep going down. lol.

But you have to keep the ball rolling, no matter how hard you've been hit right? Prelims is over a few days ago. But that doesn't mean i have to stop studying. N level is in a few days! Time is crucial.

Oh, last friday i went to watch movies with a bunch of hotties. Except for one, which is pearlyn. Haha! It was awesome! They were too hot till had to walk barefooted at the mall. Heh. We watched the movie G.I Joe. Awesome movie, with awesome people, which make farhanah laughing to herself in the theatre. I know, crazy right? Ha ha. Enjoyed my day with them, we shall do this again ladies! Ohhh... i don't know what to write here ......

Post shall be continued ... i think, muahahahaaa.

Beautifully broken

2009-08-02T02:20:00.019+08:00

I'm waking up. The world is turning. The sun is shining again. I'm holding on to things I shouldn't. It's time to let them go. I've been on a losing streak, have been hit so hard. Once again I'm falling to my knees. I try to escape cause I just can't take it. Now this feeling is spreading like a disease. I fake another day and the wheel keeps turning. Doesn't anybody get it? There's nothing left.

Where are the people that accused me? The ones who beat me down and bruised me. They hide just out of sight. Can't face me in the light. They'll return but I'll be stronger. Sometimes it's hard to just keep going. But faith is moving without knowing. Can I trust what I can see? To reach my destiny.

I'm sick of all this waiting. And people telling me what I should do/be. What if I'm not so crazy. Maybe you're the one who's wrong, not me. So what you gonna do? What you gonna say? When we're standing on top, and do it our way. Now, if you think we're gonna last forever. Then, my friend, you're living in the past. I won't say, "I'm sorry." I'll just do what everybody wants to do. It's not so complicated or is it so complicated?. Cause I know you want the same thing too. The world keeps turning. Why do you tell me you care if you're not gonna change. And my heart's still burning. So how did we get so jaded?

Broken down like a mirror smashed to pieces. I've always learn to hold the things i want to say. I'm always going to be afraid. I've learned the hard way to shut my mouth and smile. If these walls could talk they would have so much to say. Cause every time i fight, the scars are gonna heal but there never gonna go away.

There's only anger, tears, pain, lies, fears. There is no love here. So what will you do? Here we are preteding we're ok. You can say what you want but you still can't fool me. The life we're living. It's all masquerade.

Once again, read in between the lines.
Figure it out yourself.

Behind the sea

2009-07-19T23:45:00.007+08:00

Some people you can never please, You might as well just let them be, They mock everything not their own , from their imaginary throne. But I won't bow down, even if the whole world thinks I'm crazy. Why try to be like someone else, when you can only be yourself? Be true, be legendary you. Why kiss the feet of the people who kick you?

Sometimes life gets you yet we still have go on. Even though you feel so exhausted. Not only physically but emotionally. Knowing that you can't depend on others cause they're too blind to be even be aware of their surroundings. When they're the problem itself. Being treated like trash, by someone who label you as their close friend. It's always true, when they say, "Actions speak louder than words." What's the point saying it, if we don't mean it?

Knowing the right words, got me through the day. Fighting everyday to walk towards the light. Trying the best to hold on, not giving up. Because sooner or later, everything will be over. And it could be a happy ending or a sad ending. Depending on how we take this, the choices we make, the effort we put, the commitment, in all our work. In 2 months time ..

If all our life is but a dream, fantastic posing greed. Then we should feed our jewelry to the sea. For diamonds do appear to be, just like broken glass to me. Things have changed for me, and that’s okay. I feel the same, I'm on my way, and I say. I've found a reason for me, to change who I used to be.

But then again, spending a day with one person you love never fails to be awesome. Cause being with some you love, it doesn't matter if you don't talk or laugh for hours, cause you know they're there. Just being there already means alot. Really.

Try reading between the lines and you'll understand.

Speak up cause i never will.

Bersyukur

2009-07-06T00:11:00.009+08:00

Heyyy. It's 12.11 am now. I would like to wish Syafiqah(fyfy) Happy 16 birthday! Hope all wishes come true, hope you pass your 'N' level. Go!

Haha.Okay, school has started like a week ago. And i've been busy busy busy. With dnt, undone holidays homework, self-study, tuition. But mostly busy with my dnt artefact, staying back till as late as 7. And reaching home feeling tired but still have to continue studying till late at night. Argh, endure for a few months. And in school, it's been continuous revision. Go umairah! Usaha! Ha ha.

My june holidays ended with awesome memories stuck in my head. Get what i'm trying to say? Ha ha, in simpler words, i've enjoyed my holidays very much. I didn't manage to update at the last week of holidays because i was busy attending the workshop.I've learnt alot of things from the workshop. One of them is to be observant about the things around you. Analyze. Learn how to appreciate the things around you, even if it is a tree.

Always think. That's 1/4 of what i've learnt. (Y) i really enjoyed it.

And usually after workshop, i'll reach home feeling tired, exhausted. The places i went after workshop was airport, movie, marina barrage. Actually, before workshop also went to airport. Ha ha. Movie went with my parents. Watched Transformers 2. Awesome, (Y). More actions, better than the 1st. That's briefly what i did for the last week of school holiday. Right, now what should i say .. Oh! Yesterday i came home at 3am. Ha ha! Guess who i went out with? :p

Ha ha, we went to cathay, watched transformers again. Will never get bored of it. Ha ha! Actually planned to catch the 930 show, but sold out leh. The next timing also sold out. So the next one was 1155. Then go ahead and bought tickets. Heh. That's most probably what has happened in my life .. the interesting things that happened, of course.

Why can't you see what i've done? How hard i'm trying here. Seriously, are so blind with __, that you're not aware of your surroundings? Even if you were always in the middle of it. When you know something's wrong, you've to take the initiative to make things right back again. I've already done my part. So should you.

I just confessed something to him .. :O

Now he asked ..

What to answer?

Kay, bye!

Oh, wait, listen to this, gooood.

By michael jackson, i likeeeeeeeeeeee. :D

(zakiah! Hear this).

Okay, bye.

Pictures

2009-06-18T12:58:00.002+08:00

Enjoy. (:

This is only 50 pictures, there's loads more.

New beginning

2009-06-16T00:00:00.012+08:00

/edited.

Hey! It's been a while yeah. Heh, although it's been a long time, in the past few days, alot of things happened. School for extra lessons, dnt. But the highlight was the camp. The camp was fun! Like it showed the real definition of fun. I'm really glad i went for it, not a single regret. Let me tell you how the camp went.

First day, me and khairiah was kinda late, but not that very late. Like 5 minutes late. Luckily it haven't started yet. It started off with ice breaking game. Then played a game together. Running here and there. Heh. After that, separated into groups. I was in group 4, f4! Ha ha. Then the introduction of the camp, the reason for the theme, why is called 'Akudandia', introduction to the facilitators, ustad/ustazah. Then in the afternoon, we had amazing race. Around hougang area. Tiring, only took like 2 buses to 2 venues, the rest we ran. Ha ha. Then at night, had dinner, kelantan session with khairiah only. She's crazy, i know. Ha ha! Then we had a talk, self-reflection. The talk/self-reflection ended with everyone crying their hearts out, our eyes gone puffy red. Emotional night. It also ended with everyone hugging each other. Then bathe, chat around and slept.

Second day, woke up, bathe, pray. Then we had morning exercise. Ha ha, cool man! The song made us move to the rhythm. Cheh. Ha ha. Then we had a activity, amazing pixel. Which my group won. Yay! Congrats f4! Good job. We went to esplanade, took pictures then had a tea break with group. Back to mosque, prayed, lunched then had talk. Cried again, emotional. Hugged again. Then had game, mixed up with boys. My group was called 'brazil', president was hafiz, faci' was kak hajar. In the end, no one won. Ha ha. Because we were greedy. We learnt that we need to share and be a team! At night, had barbeque. Before that, had performance by faci'. They played guitar. Foooooooooh. Ha ha. Then had skits. Ended, bathe, had girls talk. Hehe. Fun fun fun. Talk till late at night, till the next morning was late!

Third day(last day), quick wash up, prayed. Had talk, cried again. Hugged again. Then morning excercise. Played games. Girls vs boys. Ha ha. Fun leh. Then the had performance by faci'. Foooooooooohhhhhhhhh, again. Heh. Had video, will try to upload. The camp ended with everyone singing a song together in a big circle as group. Hugging each other. Also had photo session, took photos. Very saddening to leave the mosque. That's it! Ha ha.

I'm really really really glad that i have went to that camp. I have learnt lots of things. About religion, friendship, family, love, community, leadership, lots more. This camp will definitely make difference in my life. I know i will change after it. I'm also glad to make great and awesome friends. Fatin, Amirah, Ain, Hanis. You guys are awesome! Heh. I will definitely remember my group. F4! Give me a b, sayang clap! Ha ha. Will miss you guys. And And thanks to the facilitators and community for making this a worth while camp.

And, i would like to thank khairiah, for always being there for me. For experiencing one of the most awesome/fun/great time in life with me. *hug* Pagi!!!!!!!!!!! heh.

Douce melancolie

2009-06-07T23:45:00.002+08:00

Like finally! I'm updating. Ha ha. Actually planned to update this on friday, but then due to my laziness/tiredness, it was delayed. Ha ha. Anyway, last week i said about having a cheerful post right? Ha ha, i think i can hold on to that for this post.

Well, this week was a tiring week, although it's a holiday. Most of you guys should know the reason why. I've been going to school for every single day. Be it for extra lessons or intensive dnt. I have been waking up as early as 7 in the morning, and going home as late as 9 at night. I'm tired every single day that i haven't completed my homework yet. And i know, i can't go on like this. I've to sacrifice my sleeping time. Damn!

I'll just tell you briefly what i did for the week. On monday, morning went for jog for a while, then home and went to school after that. Afternoon went for tuition, then had dinner with khairiah. Had a nice talk, felt better. Ha ha. Then on tuesday, morning went for swimming with mum and brother. Afternoon, went for dnt till evening. Wednesday, morning, went for poa extra lesson, then ate lunch at macdonald with classmates. Had a great laugh. Ha ha. Then went for dnt after that. Thursday, morning went for maths consultation. Afternoon, went for dnt till evening again. Then hanged out with anu, pearlyn, farhanah. Ha ha. Damn fun! Should do that again.

Friday, morning went for geography extra lesson. Then for dnt. Afternoon, went for tuition. After that, went to orchard at night with khairiah. Drank double chocolate and hanged out at the mccafe there. Then went for window shopping. Damn alot nice tops and bottoms. Some of the price were affordable too, but too bad we're low in cash. Saw Mr hafiz, ha ha, waved and smiled at him. Luckily, he still recognises us. Homed after that. Saturday morning, went for jog with farhanah. Sadly, anu and pearlyn couldn't make it. Next time yeah. After went jog, walked back to farhanah house, took stuff. Then went back swimming. Swam a few laps. Had fun.

That's mostly what has happened for the week. Sounds tiring? You bet. Next week, which is tomorrow, still have to go back to school for extra lessons and dnt. And i'm going for the youth camp next saturday till monday. Damn nervous! Ha ha, can't stop thinking about it. I'm currently listening to songs, then the song that is playing now is a sad song. Ha ha, then i'm starting to feel all sad. Ha ha. I've created Twitter. Ha ha, fun fun. Okay, i better stop now, before i start drowning you guys with my sad emotions. See ya.

Walk

2009-05-31T23:34:00.005+08:00

Holidays have started two days ago. And in this two days, i'm already dying of boredom. But i don't think i'll be dying of boredom for this holiday. My schedule are all pack with extra lessons, intensive dnt, tuition, studying. And i'm not really that excited about this holiday. No big deal. Whatever.

I spend the last week of school doing nothing. Well, not exactly nothing. We didn't have any lessons since half of the class were gone. They went for the intensive mother tongue. So, all we did was, talk, watch movie, play games. The games we played was, hangman, the drawing thing(where you have to guess what the person is drawing), uno, heart attack, mafia, murderer, memory game, snap and truth and dare. That's all i think. Ha ha, i actually had fun, since we actually played in big groups. So the fun was like triple. Awesome. But, the sad thing is, on the last week of school, we received tons of homeworks. Ha ha, obviously.

Sigh, honestly, i'm not in the mood to blog about my shit life. Like seriously, i've already done my part, i've already said what i needed to say. What more do you expect? Can you try reading between the lines? Do you ever get tired of fooling me? Do you ever get tired of this? Honestly, i do.

Last saturday and friday, i went for a jog/walk alone, in the middle of the night. I thought that maybe by jogging i could actually forget everything that's bothering me for a moment. But in the end, it got worst. And i ended up, sitting in the middle of nowhere, staring into blank space. People giving looks as if i had ran away from home. But i didn't care, i was too tired to care.

This actually shows, how this has affected my life. It actually changed me as well as my life. I didn't want this, but you turned me to this. I'm so pissed off at you but yet i'm still giving you chances. I'm still giving in. I can't be angry at you. I tried not to make any assumptions, not to jump to conclusions. But have you ever tried to take the initiative to tell me everything, have you? Sometimes, i wonder, who am i to you?

My posts have been so emotional lately, this sucks. I'll try writing a cheerful post next time. If i am happy at that moment ..

If only the broken is easily fixed

2009-05-22T23:41:00.008+08:00

Like, finally exams are over. But the big exams are not over yet, so i still cant totally shut down my mind. What the hell, i'm having damn bad headache now. I know i should rest, but i just don't feel like it. I also just got back my results. I won't elaborate more about that. Only that i'm disappointed in myself. Study harder! But for now, i just wanna relax. Relax from everything.

Life have been so full of different of emotions, that i don't have any right words to describe how i actually feel now. I feel happy, sad, disappointed, angry, pissed, hurt. I could make a list of how i feel but thats just basically how i felt. Sigh, i have so much to say, but i just can't simply put it in words. I feel like changing blog skin, ha ha, random much.

Holidays are coming soon but yet i still haven't planned on any outings. I just don't feel any excitement for the holidays. My feelings towards holidays are just neutral. The only thing i look forward for holidays is, sleeping. Ha ha. Sometimes, i just feel like staying in bed the whole day and just forget about everything for a day. Wouldn't that be nice? But too bad, i can't. Ha ha. I think mum is making cookie tomorrow. She is the baking mood. Ha ha.

The past few days, or during the exam week, i usually spend my time at Sengkang CC, studying there. Now that exam's are over, i spend time more at the library. Oh, speaking of library, i remembered about the books i borrowed. Hmm, should read them soon. Anyway, i wanna write my feelings down(try not to ask anything about it).

I may look okay, i may look fine, i may look happy. I will go along with everything without any objections. I will smile even though i feel so mad, so pissed,so hurt. False smiles forced by pure Instinct. I've been breathing in lies like smoke. I gave chances but the chances were taken advantage. Sometimes i wonder, how i go through a day looking so happy on the outside, when deep down i'm so damn ____.

Restless and confused, also waiting for the news. Not knowing where to turn, or where to go. Not liking the situation, but living in it for too long. And try being the person who always have to give in. Try being the one who always have to speak up so that things will go back to the way it is. Sometimes, i feel sick and tired of everything, just wanting to give up. But then again, i can't. I can't be selfish, can i.

On the other hand, what do you do when you miss someone so badly but you do not have the guts to say it to them? Sigh. Cause the moment, I'm lonely and I'm tired, I start missing you, alot.

Sigh, it really sucks to hold everything back, doesn't it?.

Why keep pretending

When there’s no one left to fool?

Better luck next time.

2009-04-26T22:44:00.008+08:00

Hey. Im just going to make this a short one. I think so. Well this week was not so tiring at the beginning but it gets tiring towards the end of the week. This week was kinda normal, nothing bad happened and nothing exciting happened too. But at the same time, this week was ____. I don't know? I couldn't really think of the exact words that could really describe how i felt of this week.

Nothing really happened at the beginning of the week. But i definitely know that i would fail my Science ST. Sigh, gotta work double hard. Especially physics. On tuesday, my class got lectured by our behavior. They say that we don't really act as the best NA class. Ha ha. No comments 'bout that. Sigh, exams is nearing. Im trying my best in my studies. But i seem to be distracted by other things. I have also gotten back some of my test papers. Failed some of them. Gah! Must study hard!

At the end of the week, friday, i did a prank on Farhanah. Didn't expect to react in that way. Sorry, don't take it to heart ya? You could whack me. Hah! Like sean said, i deserve a whacking. Ha ha. I also had netball on that day. Veh tiring, with the damn hot weather. After that, head down to tampines to do some things. With my sticky and stinking body, yucks. No choice, had to go.

On saturday, had a hearty meal for dinner with mum at swensens. Ha ha! Yay! Thanks and love ya! (: Im gonna write what i feel here. Hey, it's a blog. It's about personal feelings too.

The one person that wasn't suppose to let you down, probably will. A feeling inside of being All alone, so forgotten. The one person you thought cared, turns their back on you and doesn't care anymore. You think you can control my mood. I gave you all my heart. I believed in everything you say. I trusted you from the start. I guess I made my biggest mistake, when I became loyal to you. I thought your kindness would last. But now, I feel so used. Because when I think of the past, I thought you'd never give my heart a bruise. But you did.

If you wanted to see this happen. Maybe you should've tried harder.

There's doubt, There's truth

2009-04-19T23:50:00.003+08:00

" So convincing I believed it,

Now, im having second thoughts. "

Hey. How are ya people? Ha ha. Okay, well this week was awesome. Not that awesome, but it was definitely different from the other weeks. Although it was tiring. It was always does. But at the same time, this week was shocking and unbelievable. I have my own reasons why it was that way. So, this week everything went smoothly. Not so much of a rush. Everything seems to be fine. Im on the right path for my dnt. Now im on my crucial dimensions, hope to finish it by this week. And maybe idea conceptualisation too.

Exams are nearing. Only a few weeks left. I have to manage my time carefully. I'll try my best not to fail any subjects. And improve on it. Study, study, study! And i hope nothing will distract me. Sigh. Anyway, the big event for this week was the Sports Carnival. I didn't look forward to it much. But at the same time, i wanna see how it goes. So i didn't have any intentions of not attending. I was participating in the Captain's ball event anyway. So, i had to go.

I did enjoy the carnival at the beginning, but as time goes and the carnival's ending, it started getting boring. Adding to that was the hot weather and my sticky body. The weather was so hot that we bought so many drinks. It was so not cool. Ha ha. But i did enjoyed it somehow, and i tried all the free drinks that was given, not including the new water. Ha ha. And when i saw starbucks, i was like, uhhhh. But i took it anyway. I thought they would bring their machine and all, and we could have frappucinos. But nooo, too bad. Ha ha. Oh ya, we also took part in the tug-of-war game. Ha ha, it was fun! I definitely enjoyed it. Lastly, Pegasus won the cheerleading again. Wooooh! Congrats!

After the carnival, we went to catch the movie 17 again at downtown. The movie was okay. It was a simple and funny movie. Enjoyed that too. After that, went home and collapsed. Damn tired.

I think that should be it for the week. I have Chemistry/Physics ST tomorrow. Wish me luck!

Bye. (:

Blow the candles out

2009-04-13T00:51:00.004+08:00

" Carve out your name

Do you remember that? "

Hey. It has been quite a long time, huh ?. Well, apologies for that, i have so many things to do and everything was in a rush. Yeah, well, i'll just briefly tell you what happened for the last two weeks.

For the last last week, well, i can say that it was a bad week but the same time it was a good one. And it was also a tiring week. Tsk, almost every week is a tiring, rushing week. Sigh. First thing, i received 2 pieces of good new. Second, i received a piece of bad news. Which was kinda shocking.

The good news was i got a laptop! Wooh! Which im currently using now. Ha ha. But im still not comfortable with the small screen and the keyboard. Next good news is, i can't tell. Ha ha. The bad news, was that khairiah was hospitalized. Because of the food poisoning thing. Just her luck. But thank god she's okay now! Okay, thats what i mostly remembered for that week.

Last week, nothing much happened. I had English ST on monday. Which i think im gonna flunk. Sigh. Then on tuesday, i had malay oral. Which i think i did badly in it. Ha ha, cause i think i talk out topic. And i didn't understand the question much. I even asked the teacher what's the meaning of some words. Ha ha, loser much. That's probably it. Quite a short post for the two weeks. Sigh, to be honest, there's so much to say, but i simply just can't write it in words.

Aye, i think this is it. Bye.

Shopaholic

2009-03-28T23:02:00.005+08:00

Hey. I totally had fun today. Tell about that later. So, this week, was tiring. It was all in a rush. And i always doze off in class although, after so many attempts of trying to stay awake. Can't help it, damn. Sigh, this week has been so .. i don't know? I feel tired, fun, sad, happy, frustrated, all in a week. I need to redo my dnt cause i've made a mistake about it. Though teacher said it's okay, only some mistakes. But i feel that i need to redo it. Sigh, i just can't stop sighing. Oh, and i have 2 library books due on 3rd of april. And i have yet to read half of the 1st book. Damn, no time. But the books are good.

So, at the end of the week, which is today, we decided to catch a movie, after our studied together. We watched the movie, Confessions of a shopaholic. It was awesome! The movie was hilarious, but at the same time sad. I laughed my ass out in the movie. It was so damn funny. And the cinema was big! Twice the size of a normal cinema. The place was good, comfortable, the movie was awesome. It was totally worth it! I definitely enjoyed myself. You guys should watch it. Ha ha.

So today was the Earth hour. We didn't really participate it, we just sat at Starbucks and took silly pictures. Damn silly pictures. Then we went home. Tiring.

Aye, bye. Wish me luck for the week!

To hell and back

2009-03-22T21:59:00.008+08:00

" I love sleep.

My life has a tendency to fall

apart when I'm awake "

Hey. What the hell, school starts tomorrow. Im so excited! Not. All my homework are half way done. I have Social studies Test tomorrow, i have yet to complete my dnt. How wonderful. I can bet this next week is gonna be all rush! I have to do this, i have to do that and there's so little time. Sigh. Time pass so fast, and the next thing you know, oh, it's friday! Since i don't have a choice, I'll just stop complaining about school. School is school.

So, this 1 week of break, was well, short. Duh. You can't rest without thinking about school things. And when you rest too much, you tend to forget about school work, then you'll do things last minute, in a rush. Damn. Anyway, holidays only went out twice or thrice. Friday went to grandmother house. I, my brother and mother went to catch the Movie, Race to witch Mountain. Uh, the show was okay? No comments much. Prefer watching push. Ha ha. Movie which is more suitable for my age. Then i receive 15 bucks from my grandmother! Thanks! Love ya! Maybe i could buy new story books, since i've read all my storybooks. And sadly, i couldn't find any nice books in the library.

I wonder how's Vladimira is doing. 1 week of holiday, never heard anything from her. I wonder how's she coping. I wonder if her brain are still fine, or burst out already. Hah! Okay, stop. Let's pray she's fine.Sigh, i don't want school to start. Damn! It's just school, what's the worst that could happen? Wish me luck! Bye.

Mover

2009-03-19T20:23:00.008+08:00

Happy 16th Birthday Eyka!

(belated)

Sup! As you can see from my previous post, which is flooded with pictures, you can tell that we really had a great time. Although it was all rushing and such, but hey, we did have fun. Right girls? Ha ha. And i also have come to a conclusion, that I have weird and retarded friends. But it's more to the weird side. Ha ha. Don't ask me way, it's a inside joke actually. Okay well, so we celebrated simply by watching a movie. And sharing cake. Mini cake to be precise. Ha ha. Don't ask why we're sharing a mini cake. Well, we were in a rush and we didn't check the time.

We watched the Movie, Push. It was wasn't so awesome and at the same time it wasn't so bad. We enjoyed it. The show almost similar to heroes. Main character was Chris Evans, he is still hot,like in any other movies, and there was also Dakota Fanning, Camilla Belle, Djimon Honsouand more. After the movie we all were like, "If we had this power ..." Ha ha, it was hilarious. And the Actions we made. We certainly didn't regret watching that show. Thumbs up! (Y)

Then we headed down to changi, since they had Class BBQ, me and farhanah just wanted to kill time. Since it was only 5, when we reach hougang. If I were to reach home at 6, my mum would think there's something wrong with here daughter. So, at changi, that's where Farhanah and me became retarded. We camwhored the every second. Well, we were bored. Duh. What'd you expect.

Well, that's it. I hope you enjoyed the day Eyka. Bye. [:

Pictures - 18/03

2009-03-19T13:30:00.013+08:00

Here's the pictures girls, There's more actually.

If you want certain pictures, ask me.

Bye.[:

Another heart Calls

2009-03-16T23:12:00.008+08:00

" Seize the day or die

regretting the time you lost "

Uh, hey. I think this is gonna be some random post. Since i really have nothing to do on the internet, besides chatting, surfing net. Read stories online? I think i already read almost all of the stories at the website. And sadly, i can't watch any videos or listen to any songs. If i do, my computer will auto shutdown. Damn annoying. Well, now, I'm chatting with my friend and at the same time I'm watching American Next Top model. Hilarious too see the girls bitching about other girls. Typical when you put girls with different personalities together in the same house. Ha ha.

My friend chatting with me, telling me that her boyfriend scolding her for no valid reason. Guys, tsk tsk tsk. She said that, she gave practically her whole life to him, but he still doesn't appreciate her and understands her. Guys(some), they never appreciate us, unless they lose us. And girls, clinging on to their guy even though they have done so many bad things to them. Reason behind this, (for girls), we love them too much. Awww, how sweet. Some of you girls may think, "That is so bullshit" That is because, you girls are not in love. L-o-v-e. Ha ha. Am i in love? Maybe, maybe not. Ha ha. (winks)

Anyway, let's stop talking about love. Whatever. I was blog hopping just now, and i came across this photography blog. The photography there are totally awesome. When i see the pictures, i was like, " Is this really at Singapore"' Apparently, yes. Ha ha. Oh and then i went to blog hop some more. Then i came across one of the guy blog, who took pictures for that photography blog. Then that guy so happens to go and meet All american rejects! My all time favorite band.

Oh my god. Then he gets to meet Nick, Tyson, Mike and Chris. Face to face! And also get their autographs. Ahhh, so unfair. Actually i heard that they were coming to Singapore, but not sure of the date and place. Just my luck, man. Then i found out that i was on the 28 Feb. On farhanah's birthday. Awww, man. They also had a performance at zouk, which if you wear stripes t-shirt, you could get in free. How awesome is that. Ahhh, never mind. What's done is done! Ha ha.

Oh, okay, this my random post. And, i heard that Vlаdіmira is off to camp tomorrow. Shall wish her all the best tomorrow morning. Ha ha, aye, TTFN.

Rembering sunday

2009-03-15T22:48:00.007+08:00

" There is just no reason for

you to let life bring you down "

Uhm, hey. It's been a while since i've updated. The reason is, mostly there's nothing much to update 'bout. And partly, it's because im busy with other stuffs. Or maybe im just damn lazy. What do you write about, when you do the same things over and over again. For almost everyday. Like you go to school. Study, talk usual stuff with friend. Laugh at each other jokes. Make jokes that is totally not logical. Then you have lunch at compasspoint. Then you go home, then you study. That is life. It's not that fun. But hey, what are friends for? They spice up your life. Without them, i won't be laughing my ass off. Hah. Ah, who does read this blog anyway.

Well, this week. What can I say, its like any other week. But we had 3 days lessons free. Meaning we didn't have to study. Cool? Nah, i rather have lessons. On thursday, we had a career talk. Like where we wanna go after our 'O'/'N' levels. What courses are there available in ite or higher nitec (mostly for NA/NT). And if we go to higher nitec, its still the same as going to secondary 5. I know it's the same. But i still wanna take my 'O's, no matter what. Ite, is my last choice, it's not that i look down on it or something, but if you still had the chance to try and take your 'O's, you won't let the chance slip right. Anywoo, my dad will kill me if i go there. And after that, we some sexuality talk. By the way, the whole day we had to sit in the hall. I was practically dozing off.

Then on thursday, we had err, I don't know how to explain. But what we did was we learned how to buy and sell stocks. Ha ha, it was fun. The chaos and everything. Then we also learned how to groom ourselves. Like, the proper way to sit, stand and walk. The proper dressing for different occasions. It was interesting. We played mini games, like bingo. Ha ha, definitely fun. That day was definitely way better than thursday.

Then on fridays, last day of term 1, we had a trip to Shatec. I expected the place to be nice like high standards, but it it didn't. So most of us were going " What the hell " when we first saw it. But hey, that's the old building. The new building, is wow, jaw dropping. Ha ha, but too bad im not interested there. There was Culinary, Hotel management, tourism etc, courses. Which i am totally not interested in. That is why, im bored there.

That's briefly what happen for the school week. During the weekends, on saturday, i went out with mum. Went to Sim lim to find new mp3, since my old one died on me (wth, 4 years leh). Ha ha. Then decided to buy ipod nano. Yellow color. No red, boooo. Orange out of stock. Thought of buying iTouch, but mum said, have to fork out 100 bucks if i want. So, no. Heh. I rather have my mum pay it all. Thanks anyway. Then went to grandmother's house. Yawns. Lol.

Sunday, i spend my day at home. That's it. March holidays have started. I already plan out what i wanna do. Now, Let's hope i'll follow the plan yeah. Bye.

Pocket full of sunshines

2009-03-01T21:48:00.005+08:00

And truth be told I miss you
And truth be told I'm lying

When you see my face
Hope it gives you hell
Hope it gives you hell

When you walk my way
Hope it gives you hell
Hope it gives you hell

When you find a man that's worth a damn
and treats you well
Then he's a fool, you're just as well
Hope it gives you hell

Now you'll never see
What you've done to me
You can take back your memories
They're no good to me
And here's all your lies

You can't look me in the eyes
With the sad, sad look
That you wear so well

-AAR.

Thanks alot.

Mona lisa

2009-03-01T20:04:00.010+08:00

Happy 16th Birthday to Farhanah (belated)

Pictures ..

Picture of the day

Random

2009-02-19T10:32:00.002+08:00

Hiiii. (grins) Im having dnt lessons now. Danial is really high today. Seriously. Today is thursday. Fast eh. Then this sunday is the mission explorer. tsk! Danial is being annoying. Zakiah day dreaming. Melvin infront of me, with his so small eyes. Haha! Farhanah didn't attend school today. Fever. Love sick. He also never come today. Cheh, farhanah. (winks) lol. Danial terrorist. Hah! T-e-r-r-o-r-i-s-t. Zzz, i seriously have nothing to say. I'll update more at the end of the week. Bye!

Silhouette

2009-02-14T23:19:00.002+08:00

/edited.

Happy Valentines Day

Hey. I didn't really celebrate Valentine's Day. What i celebrate on that day, i call appreciation day with my friends mostly. On friday, we exchanged gift with each other. Aww, how cute. Hah! All the mushy-mushy notes. All the handmade stuff. All the chocolates! Ha, after school we decided to have mini so called 'party' among ourselves at Farhanah's house. We bought the ingredients for our cupcakes and lasagna at Rivervale Plaza fair price. Don't ask how we got there, when we can actually go to Rivervale Mall. Cause we actually thought of buying minced meat at the wet market. But the shop was closed. How sad.Ha. So, we replaced minced meat with chicken. Yeah! Walk our way to Farhanah house. We ended up sweating. Heh.

Got ready the stuff that we needed, half of us doing cupcakes and the other half doing lasagna. And of course, i did the cupcakes. And when all six of us are in the kitchen, Chaos! And my uniform went all dirty. Flour, butter, chocolate all on my uniform. Luckily, it was last day of school. (winks) Ha ha, then do the dishes. We took about approximately two hours to complete everything. And everything was edible! Mission success! Told ya, we could cook. Ha ha.

After all the eating, we had kind of a 'confession' game. We totally played that game well. Haha. Everyone accepting eact other comments on use even though it may hurt. I accepted all their bad comments on me with an open heart. Haha!

Then on saturday, the actual valentine day. I didn't have a date. How fun. Lol! If you call going out with family is a date, then it is. Heh. My dad decided to buy me a camera. Yayayayayay! Actually, we went to the camera shop last week, but the shop was close. Frustrating man. Luckily this time it was open. My mum budget was below 400. I was like, (-_-). But in the end, she bought a camera cost 435. Heh. She couldn't resist my cute face. Lol! Then the person at the shop said that, the camera was my Valentine's Day present. Thanks mum and dad! (blow kisses) Lol! I also bought the latest All american rejects CD. Mum paid for it. (grins) Then had lunch near Sultan mosque. Then went parkway. Pffft. Always go there. Then home.

Yay Camera!

It's time for something real

2009-02-05T10:34:00.002+08:00

Goodmorning! Haha. It's 10.34am now. Im in school. Currently dnt lesson. I just finished my consultation with Mr Lee. And im at the right path! Farhanah beside me grinning. She also just finished her consultation with Mr Lee. But she's in frustration and irritated. Cause she do some of the things wrong. Then now she became retarded. Haha! It's almost recess time. Cheers! And weekends are coming soon. I seem to realised that, week pass by so fast. And school time seems to be so short. Woooh! And now zakiah beside me! Zakiah said hi. This week we, the dodols have no plans. But we heard from Mr chong that on monday is going to be a half day. Dope, or what.

Well, let me tell what roughly, what happened last week. Which i fail to post. Hah, Last friday, me and shafeeqah accompanied Khairiah to Toa pa yoh to take some form. Had lunch there. We also fool around there, till we laugh so loud, others seem to be irritated by it. Haha! Then on the way back home, in the bus. All of us were sleeping. Like really sleeping! Haha, Too tired, i guess.
Then on saturday, we all met for awhile to accompany shafeeqah. Haha, it was so unplanned. But we totally have a great time. Now danial beside me. No privacy! That's probably it, i guess for last week. I'll post some pictures taken soon. Aye, Bye!

SatuDuaTiga!

2009-01-25T20:56:00.002+08:00

Hey. How are you people doing? Haha. Aye, i really got nothing to say. Or maybe i do, i just don't seem to remember what i was gonna write about. Well, this week, it was just like any other week, ya know. School, homework, study, dnt. But this week seems to passed by fast? But of course the big event of this week, was the Chinese new year celebration. It was nothing big actually, since this year celebration is kinda bored and fast. Besides the wushu performance. The rest was okay. Didn't really enjoy it like the past few years, but at they did put in effort to the concert right? So yeah. But the fun part comes after school. Of course, it's always been with fun the dodols.

So, uh, that day, after school we decided to have a big feast yet again. Haha. Let me tell you, Our first priority is always food. It always comes first! Haha, that's the dodols. Actually we intend to catch a movie, but since we couldn't find any good timing slots. So we decided to head down to jalan kayu to eat. We actually spend 1/2 hour to think where to go, and we were actually standing in front of the Mrt map. Retarded? Nah. So after having our big feast, we decided to take pictures and videos! It was fucking hilarious. When i say," fucking hilarious," it was really funny. Our attempts to take jumping shots and in the end everyone faces became retarded. Haha. Oh and our joke on Step mothers and step sisters. Funny. (grins). I'll stop here. Till then!

Holding back

2009-01-19T00:59:00.006+08:00

The weekends has come to an end.

And another week of school has begin, yet again.

Let's hope i'll still be alive at the end of this week.

Wish me luck!

Haha, I made it look like I'm going to somewhere that

can actually kill me. When it's actually school. Hah.

Hey, school can be terrifying too .. sometimes.

You'll never know what happen. Ha ha.

Till then!

Shhh be quiet, you might piss somebody off
Like me motherfucker, you've been at it for too long
While you feed off others insecurities
You stand in front of me and bite the hand that feeds

Always and never

2009-01-18T01:17:00.003+08:00

Hey. See that picture above, that show us, having a big feast. After a week of exhaustion. Haha. Well, that's basically the 'big' event that happen for this week, when Nurrul Shafeeqah Ameera decided to give us treat at Seoul Garden. Ain't we lucky to have a friend like her? Hah, Thanks aye Nurrul. Like seriously, that friday, we ate like all the food was going to runaway. We took everything that we saw. What'd you expect as it was our first time eating there for half of the group? We definitely had a great time there. For a moment, we became 'chefs'. Hah. Once again, thanks Nurrul. (smile widely) Well, this week has been a tiring week for me. Not enough sleep. I almost had a fever. But thank god, i didn't. I can't bear to miss any lessons. It's a crucial year! This is me, without CCA, almost going to die because of exhaustion. I wonder how those who have CCA can cope. This year is gonna be tough, i wonder how im gonna manage my time. Sigh, weekends are so short. I can't even rest without thinking of school work. Sigh, wish me luck. Bye.

Don't make things hard.

It was one of those times

2009-01-15T21:48:00.003+08:00

Making faces definitely made my day.

I'm tired physically and mentally.

Im a lil' exhausted.

Luckily it's friday tomorrow.

Truth be told, im lying

2009-01-07T23:21:00.003+08:00

Hey. Uh, sorry for not updating much? Cause im trying to cut down time on playin' or using the comp that much. Well, actually i've been online the past few days, but it's just that i don't spend time on the computer that much. Get it get it? Tsk, simple, i just switch on the computer to hear songs and chat with someboday. There. Most of the time, i'll be doing my homework or practicing my goddamn maths. Maths = hell. I don't wanna fail maths. It's a must must pass. To go on to secondary 5.Sigh, today is the 4th day of school. It's kinda the same thing over and over again. What'd you expect? School's school. School's a drag anyway. Most of the lessons are okay, none of them are actually that bored. Besides malay. Can't blame me, i don't know why im sleepy in malay class. There's dnt tomorrow, i totally have no idea what we're going to do for that 3 hours. Prolly they'll give the 'N' level thingy to us. Grrrrzxz, im afraid that i can't manage time with dnt and such. Oh, and next week they will already be 2 test and Asp programme for Poa. Yeaaaaah. This is most probably what im doing in school. See ya.

First day

2009-01-02T22:12:00.002+08:00

Hey. Certainly you guys must know what i'm going to post about today right? Yeaaaah, today was the first day of school. How awesome is that ?! So awesome that i pee in my pants. Ha-ha. Kidding. And i survived the first day of school ! (claps) Well, the first day of school, what'd you expect besides the repeated nagging/reminder/whatever of discipline and that this year is a very important year. Grrrrzxzx, so damn fast and i'm sitting for my 'N' levels this year. It seems like it was yesterday that i received my Psle results. Wicked. I still remember my first conversation with Farhanah. Heheheh. Of course i would remember, she wouldn't stop pestering me about it.( Kaaaaan Farhanah~) Okay, back to the first day of school. Heh. Time table. The teachers didn't change much. Except for Physics, Maths, English. That's it. I think. First day of school, everything seems the same, everyone seems the same, nothing seem to change. So there's nothing new. Yeaaah. After school, went to the usual place, had loads of laughter. That's it. Im done. See ya! Stay tune for my next post on the second day of school ! Haha. That is, if i'm not lazy to post. Hah.

Nightmare

2009-01-01T22:12:00.003+08:00

Im gonna face my worst nightmare tommorow.

Im not ready for school.

Im not looking forward to school.

I have not done my homework fully.

School! School! School!

Fuck school.

I hate school.

New beginning

2009-01-01T03:16:00.009+08:00

Goodbye 2008, Hello 2009

Hey guys. The end of 2008 is here, and a brand new year has just begun. ( I'm sad cause i didn't get to post on the last day of 2008 ) Ha ha. I spend my last day of 2008 eating bread and watching lethal movie at home with my family. That's it. Sucks eh? Actually planned on having a "countdown conference" with them. But somethings just had to happen yeah? So i just talk with khairiah on the phone till 3+am. Till phone battery went dead. And our conversation was cut off. Heh. So to sum up about 2008.

2008: What can i say about this year? It has it's ups and down, but fuck it, i went through all of it, didn't i? Of course to the help of my friends. The most things i enjoyed about '08, is that the strong bond of our dodol friendship. Yeah, each of us has done our share of mistakes. But we forgive and forget. We didn't let anything break us apart. We had a smooth friendship. That's it.Other things are just shit. Seriously, like family. I don't even wanna talk about it. Yeah, i have a good family. Look deeper in it and you'll see what's wrong. And my fucked up '08 exam results. Oh, and there are definitely some days of 2008, that i don't even wanna talk about it. Not even thinking about remembering it. But hey, the fight made us closer. Thank god to that. But overall, it's a good year.

Let's hope its even more better year for 2009. A new chapter, a new beginning.

New Year Resolution : Work hard in everything, and make all my wishes come true. (: